On that still November morn with no one near,
He pointed his brand new gun at the green Deere.
Squeezing the trigger with immature glee,
He’d blow out the window and none would see.
A spark detonated the smokeless powder
Why was it that this shot seemed much louder?
RayJean Lussier, in the cab, watched the land.
Venison for supper was what he had planned.
Safety glass exploded in diamond ice crystals,
Bursting inward as it was struck by the missile.
Bright aerated blood splattered the dash
Did Lussier struggle after this act so rash?
Radial ripples from this conflict have thundered
Like dynamite, as they tore two families asunder.
How can the damage be accurately estimated?
One life on pause, the Lussier family decimated.
A tragic event like this is impossible to retract.
We all must be responsible and think before we act!
Author notes
Word bank prompt contest - Use at least 15 words....
Aerate, Blood, Burst, Conflict,
Crystal, Decimate, Detonate, Dynamite,
Explode, Ice, Pause, Point,
Radial, Spark, Struggle, Trigger
This poem is based on true events that occured about an hour from where I live. A 17 year old first time hunter took aim at a farm tractor in an apparent act of vandalism and shot a the farmer/landowner as he sat inside of the cab of his tractor.
The Lussier family lost their patriarch. The shooter went to jail for manslaughter.
I am not anti-hunting or pro gun control. I enjoy hunting and shooting. I think that everyone needs to act responsibly and take responsibility for their actions.
In a list
A contest entry
- Activate by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended July 31, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow. There are lessons to be had in this poem. Good use of the word bank in your nicely rhymed piece. Thank you so much for a great entry. Best of luck in the judging.
~Pamela 
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I agree
Sad it is that people let their children go hunting un supervised and someone gets hurt or killed .So sad indeed for this doesnt just cover the young first timesers it also covers the hunters who mix alcohol with their hunting .Its like holding a hangrenade in your hand with the pin pulled and hoping you dont forget and open your hand
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I come from a family with a tradition of hunting. I started hunting alone when I was 10, but I had been hunting with my father before that. I am a firm believer in hunting. This kid who was 17 had never been in the woods before and had no respect for the damage that firearms could do.
I am absolutely against alcohol and firearms mixed together. I have ticked many fellow shooters off by making them go home or going home myself if drinking was mixed with target practice or hunting.
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Wow...
This poem has struck me on many levels. Primarily its merit as a well-written piece of poetry; it has a tidy meter and your rhyme is good. I've always found couplets very easy to enjoy. Secondly, I like the story it tells in a clear, uncomplicated way ~ with no forced lines to fit rhyme or meter.
Lastly, of course, is the message contained therein. It certainly packs a punch with its devastating consequences. How shockingly tragic... I feel for both families.
Very best of luck in this contest ~ I really am impressed here. Well written, dear Poet.
BRAVO!!
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. As a lifelong hunter, this act of recklessness struck me particularly hard.
Most of my rhyming is simple couplets. I kinda follow Dr. Seuss. I recently tried some complexity with and ottava rima.
Thank you for your comments.
Mike
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A thought provoking poem!
A tragic death of a neighbor and the loss of innocence of a youth at his misdeeds! A stunning use of the word bank for a true story.
Surely a gold winner for a sad situation!
Regards,
Jennifer
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Thank you fore reading and commenting. Many people go through life without thinking of the ramifications of their actions. We all need to be responsible for ourselves and not run from that responsiblility when we have done wrong.
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How tragic.. hunting accidents do happen all too often. But for him to be shooting for the pure hell of destruction serves him right! He's right where he should be. What a shame, my heart goes out to the family for their loss.
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Actually we have more people killed in ski accidents each year in my state than in hunting accident. There are usually more people killed from being hit by other skiers or snowboarders than are killed by others in hunting accidents. And don't get me started on snowmobilers. I am not calling for these activities to be curtailed. I am asking that people be more responsible.
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