Silver frost hugging
the sunbrowned grasses of late fall
Well upon the horse we flew
Over frozen fields
And across moon-glossed roads
Breath swelling hot within my lungs
Breathless hunger burning within my chest
Like boiling water cooking flowers in a vase
My tongue becomes then at best...
...unpredictable.
Now I know why so many fools stutter
And resort to "I love you,"
When perhaps they should have left well enough alone
Than to utter something untrue.
Author notes
option 3
A contest entry
- 60 minutes by notorious.
522 points, ended July 12, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imaginary by know one.
750 points, ended August 29, 2008, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want to be READ? ENTER HERE! by Avatar of Innocence.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 131 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Desperate Need of Inspiration by JustFallingApart.
300 points, ended August 25, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bored Enter!!!!! Need to Read Something!!!!! by fairytalelovestory.
700 points, ended January 8, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I too have been lied to. I have had those words spoken to me untruthfully. I know what it feels like. Thank you for this write. Good job and good luck.
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nice write
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Wow...this is definitely anthology worthy. The theme appears to be reflective of love, when it is in fact introspective and seething with a realistic perspective toward the human condition that borders on cynicism. Almost cynicism. Good job you.
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awesome!
I like it,thanks for entering the contest! -
Loved this one, Dem,
I have heard my share of love you's spoken in the heat of hoped for passion, there is no bigger turn off, I think you used great metaphor's for that moment when you so want to say those untrue words, silver frost hugging sun-browned grasses; the horse we flew; moon glossed roads; breath swelling hot; breathless hunger burning within my chest like boiling water cooking flowers in a vase, my fav, Yessa! The tongue surely is unpredictable. PL
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"I love you"
When spoken between a man and a woman before marraige, should at best be spoken much as an arrow ripped slow and painfully from the heart, a struggle in overpowering fear and reluctance.
So that when it is said, the heart quivers in apprehsion at being so unguarded. -
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Yessa! Boy, this comment should be turned into a poem!
PL
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"Silver frost hugging
the sunbrowned grasses of late fall"
Should be 'sun-browned' with a hyphen...
Great personification with the frost and adequate physical descriptions.
"moon glossed roads"
How poetic...there should be a hyphen (-) between 'moon' and 'glossed' though.
"Like boiling water cooking flowers in a vase"
Haha!! Nice simile and inclusion of the word 'vase'.
"Than to utter something untrue."
Ah...great ending.
Thanks for entering!! (: -
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Never thanked you for the editing eye...
...um...
THANKS!!!
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