Not a common notion of love behind a devoted eye
which knows the face of the One it meets, to see heart first.
Thin canvas of light, determined in concrete opacity
'more real than' - anything, as senses meet with seizing,
all for limited appetite, commanded by a blind master.
When the 'master' stoops to find his Lord, then he will
see, hear and witness the living, not the dead.
Matter doesn't even exist! You think me a fool?
It is you trapped behind retina who is witless.
All is simply a proof of that which forever precedes it.
So flooded by light to be blind,
better turn the lights out and numb your fingers than depravity
of true vision lost to the sensitive spiritual touch of the Real.
The observers now unfold their own illusions to be dumbfounded,
as complexities fall into dust of non-existence.
Illusory matter floating in subtle rippled image
to the wind of mind, upon the thinnest canvas transparent,
a non-existent film of thought over true substance of magnitude and Beauty,
so tempered its own Awe and Terror to fragile mind,
thinking in its own brittle walls in the land of vastness
that Infinite has appointed direction loaded and burdened by time and place.
Can you meet no-thing? I dare you!
No-thing is everything and everything is all it's thought not to be.
This mind which believes it has holding.
Even a spider's innate belief and knowledge
moves it to its intended twig to attach its wind blown long fibre of web to,
long before even having witnessed it.
Do you deem the vibrations of voice from your loved one
more real than they are, which you don't hear?
Their heart there presence before sounding.
Are their flesh more their reality than their heart?
A Saintly one-limbed man who is complete, rips the thought from an addled mind.
In a list
A contest entry
- as we are... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended July 17, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
outstanding and brilliantly done,to see beyond the physical to realize illusions,
(it is the nothing)what we hold on to and cherish, it is superficial compared to what we have and never notice because we look outward.
this my friend is a exceptional masterpiece
God bless...
-
-
Thank you
This one is a bit weightier and wordier than many of my others but I'm glad you liked it so much.
Sol
-
-
Can you meet no-thing? I dare you!
No-thing is everything and everything is all it's thought not to be.
This mind which believes it has holding.
Even a spider's innate belief and knowledge
moves it to its intended twig to attach its wind blown long fibre of web to,
long before even having witnessed it.
Love this stanza, the spider. I took care of the spiders at the pet store I worked in some time ago. They were lovely, furry, and beautiful. No one else seems to feel the same way as I do about the spider, but I belive they are the most intelligent creatures.
~Amy
-
-
Thank you Ami,
I much like having the odd spider here and there as well. It's supposed to be the sign of a good home.
Sol
-
-
Excellent
Such a powerful creation. You words are full of light and creativity. So very well expressed. Congratulations on the silver.
-
-
Thank you friend!
-
-
Excellent!!
Excellent Penmanship!! Well written and versed--
Profound in content!!
Favorite stanza is:
"Illusory matter floating in subtle rippled image
to the wind of mind, upon the thinnest canvas transparent,
a non-existent film of thought over true substance of magnitude and Beauty,
so tempered its own Awe and Terror to fragile mind,
thinking in its own brittle walls in the land of vastness
that Infinite has appointed direction loaded and burdened by time and place."
Well Done & Best of luck in the contest!
-
-
Treasures my friend!
I had been thinking about you in the last couple of days, that I should catch up with you a little... and here you appear!
Thank you so much for your kind comment and I believe that one's also my favourite too.
I hope your keeping well and I very much look forward to returning the favour.
Sol
-
-
Love the truth in the line, "When the 'master' stoops to find his Lord"...And "The observers now unfold their own illusions to be dumbfounded..." here I am reminded of the adage, 'it is better to be a doer of the word that a hearer only'...SO dense is this write it would take me days to absorb and comment on all the tidbits of "Light" here. You have 20/20 Vision here, Poet and I will be visiting this one again to be sure my old eyes haven't missed a thing! Just one little teensy item...Is there a typo in line 10: 'preceded' rather than 'proceeded'? May your pen never run dry, my friend...Very best wishes in the contest. Peace, Rhonda
-
-
Bless your eyes!
... and also thank you for 'typo' pick up, which for a while I 'd thought could work either way... however yes, I think 'precedes' works far better.
Much thanks to you Rhonda
Sol
-
-
(It is you trapped behind retina who is witless)
Reminds me of our conversations about the lack of certain senses and how it only makes the others work better. Sometimes sight makes us blind.
(Do you deem the vibrations of voice from your loved one
more real than they are, which you don't hear?
Their heart there presence before sounding.
Are their flesh more their reality than their heart?)
I like this part.
I like all of it...it's very 'full' but not too much so. Wordy, yes, but relevant words and that's the difference.
You're going to be far too deep for me to read soon, I'll just have to leave you smiley faces (or dumbfounded oogle men
)
X
-
-
'Too deep for you'... never!
I will have to learn to be more poetic and be able to express some of the content of what arises, clearer and better. 'Content' which we have shared in conversation between us, always bringing further reflection and more with no diminishment at all.
With gratitude
and much love Sol X
-
-
A detailed journey you took and brought the gem of your inside..well done...Thank you so much for entering my contest..my friend...
-
-
Much thanks to you Prabhu.
Such a pleasure and honour, I am delighted!
Sol
-
-
Well Sol I have read this a few times, off and on the site and I have collected a series of my feelings, not so much critique orientated. The poem in total makes me think of someone, perhaps a god/goddess watching people from a place above, taking notes of how we interact as a species. That's my overall impression. A few of the stanza's made me feel very specific things in my own life.
Your third stanza reminds me of an old reel...like a picture that is taken and then rediscovered. We must see things as they are, to be able to love and love fully. So many things here brought up an antique feel, like old china.
Sometimes poetry can be overwhelming when we write it. In stanza six I sense a deep understanding of not only time, but the journey of the self. I think most poetry, especially yours, effects me on many levels. I see so many things all at once. It can be overwhelming at time to take in so many words, so many observations, but I also think that it is completely important to get lost in ones own reveries. In ones own expressions.
You carry me on your shoulders through this piece and I see myself behind many of the images. It is this importance of writing that keeps me forever in your debt. Thank you for this emerald. A very powerful and thoughtful piece of writing. This is why you are on my favorites. You effect me on many levels. Some I am familiar with and others, I am not.
Gorgeous writing. Glad I was able to stop by your poem wall today. And thank you again for that comment that simply blew my mind. It was wonderful.
;
-
-
Thank you
I did feel this one was a little wordy... perhaps very.
But so far I can't seem to cut it down, so it remains as is, for now at least.
Thanks so much for walking through and around my 'wordy garden'.
-
-
I actually enjoyed the wordy-ness of it. I think sometimes all those edges make a poem better, especially one that brings up a lot of important images/imagery. Be careful if you do decide to cut places, etc...You don't want to effect an already vibrant and powerful poem. I like your word gardens very much, if that's what you call it.
You are very welcome.
-
-
-
I smiled reading the previous comment..
Matter exists, yet never as it is, and never so sedate that it cannot be light, everything is quantum, nothing is all, all is nothing, chaos is balance, and balance is chaos, and were it not for linear logic, that would make complete sense
-
-
- Yes, however...
'never as it is', don't you mean 'never as it isn't'?
It can't be 'never as it is', it never is, so isn't.
If it is, it would have to not be
and if it isn't, then it isn't
so its existence isn't.
You're great!
Thank you
-
-
going by the title 'Vision' I'd say never as it is, and always as it isn't but had I said that, then I would have contradicted myself from the start
so yes, as it never is in the "eye/I", but beyond that it is exactly as it is, the paradox of course is in the negation, yes?
So are you
You're welcome.. -
-
Yes
I'd completely forgotten that the title was vision
I can SEE that we will have to have some conversation about what that is or isn't soon.
-
-
-
-
You really must drive yourself crazy sometimes with all this thinking.You travel between the underworld and the unseen world in a flurry of expression.I hope to meet you on that spiritual plane one day, Ros
-
-
I see you spiral around yourself Ros!
Thank you
-
-
I can't comment on this properly now...I need more time on it and I'm expecting a call...
...but quickly, is canvas not spelled with one 's' only? And is there an extra space there between innate and belief (in the spider line)?
There's my technical stuff Comment later X
-
-
Thank you
Have done... your wonderful X
-
-
What a deep thinker you are. I love this. Good luck in the contest
-
-
Thank you so much for your kind words, much appreciated.
You know I did wonder if the 'wordiness' would be off-putting, I found it hard to cut down and I really am moved that someone should give it their time. Especially, such as yourself who has done so.
Sol
-
-
You dance your words across the page so seemingly in an effortless expression. Unique as always and with a depth of feeling and thought few are able to express.
Vision, love, blindness; the bliss and the reality. A profound write as always, and a pleasure to read more of your mind.
alby
-
-
I much appreciate your comments alby,
thank you so much for this.
Sol
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
