Darling, hold me close,
I feel your arms around me
Pull me into your breast,
That I may look into your eyes and see
All the love you have for me
As we gaze into each other eyes
I will try to visualize
What our future may have in store,
As our two lives entwine
Shall we share a glass of wine
As we sit here softly sipping away
The firelight glowing and cracking,
I lean closer into your arms
To feel the strength of you
My darling, I love you true
As we sit here together
Sharing the night so true
You ask me to marry you
I answer yes, darling I will
My heart just flipped from the thrill
A contest entry
- emotions needed. by etoile.
450 points, ended July 23, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Say what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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forever is captured in this poem, nice job!
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Thank you writingdelight. So glad you enjoyed reading my poem...Katie
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i didn't like this very much...
you used the word true twice in a short period of time,
and some of your grammar doesn't make sense.
i like that this came from your heart, but i didn't really feel anything at all when i read it.
this could definitely be improved. -
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Thank you for your comments and for reading my poem. Perhaps some of the grammar doesn't make sense to you is because it is new to you. After you have written over a thousand poems and or odes come back and re read my poem. You are certainly entitled to your opinion and if you don't like something, you just don't like it. I understand this believe me. I thank you for your time spent reading and for your comments. Time is precious...Katie
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there is no punctuation in this at all. i think if you add it before the contest finishes it will add more flow and character to the write.
beautiful poem, especially with the end line rhyme in each stanza. the emotion is clearly stated in this write, especially in the end.
thanks and goodluck
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