Are we to all presuppose to think that all the boys, they only want one thing, at one certain time, based on that person and that rickety mind? Is this the end of a certain thing; every moment something seems to be digging its own grave. But, I’m the digger ; just diggin problems down into our earth. The trigger could be hope, or better yet, some dope. Whatever gets us to bed; whatever lets us forget that we’re head under trouble like the open skies; it goes on and on, with no means to die.
So, whats the point in repeating words? If they’ve already set not to listen, someone goes unheard. So, whats the point in even fighting to be heard, when their all the same words? Our heads are set to repeat such scenes that never let us rest well, let alone get any sleep.But, that’s just one trial of one life, times a million useless dreams under the night. It’s late now. We should try to get some sounder sleep, without a bit a of substance. That sounds quite a larger feat. But, we should try then? There’s so much to comprehend, but, we’ve got time, going on and on.
But, I suppose that’s no better reason to take things so slow….i’ll never really know which way to surely go. Now, that’s so self-seeking of me. With all of the flopping fish in the sea, how dare I speak so selfishly? I did then, as I do now. And now, just like then, I’ve got lots to work out….just like the boys and girls around, inside apartment and in house. But, what about the ones lying on th estreet? While I think of me, they think of what to eat. They can dig through the trash to find day old food. But, the only trash, is in my head, and its you.
A contest entry
- emotions needed. by etoile.
450 points, ended July 23, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Nice write!
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i love this!
even though the spelling and grammar are off,
i love the way you wrote it and how the rhyming was all internal.
i could really relate to and feel this.
it hit me hard.
thank youuuu. -
"So, whats the point in repeating words? If they’ve already set not to listen, someone goes unheard. So, whats the point in even fighting to be heard, when their all the same words?"
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i felt like that part was very repetitive. there were also a couple spelling/punctuation errors.
"But, what about the ones lying on th estreet?" it should be "the street"
otherwise, i love how it rhymed that made it flow so well and i didn't even notice the rhyming until like halfway through.
"They can dig through the trash to find day old food. But, the only trash, is in my head, and its you."
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i absolutely loved that line. it was a very strong ending to the write.
thanks and goodluck
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Muchas
thank you very much. i often miss a few obvious mistakes, but im very glad you liked it, or at least parts of it.
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