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Insatiable Hunger

Your sweet essence
Fondles my desire
In your wake.

Try,
But I will catch you.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • luvdrkchocolate
    July 12, 2008
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    Eeewwww. The background color on this makes me think of your morning constitutional. lol But besides that, I thought the poem was really good. I liked the tone in this. Not so sad but positive and a little mischievious so it's fun too. Yeah, I guess it does sound very playful in a fun way. I liked it.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    July 12, 2008

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    Very alluring. Wonderful write, I couldn't see anything that would need changing.

    ♥
    whisper

  • Shadow Darkstar
    July 11, 2008

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    At first I thought this was a haiku. Until I read the last two lines. xD lovely poem from a lovely person. Fitting title as well. Not much I'd correct and/or improve.


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    July 11, 2008
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    Deeply expressive... x


  • Sorcha
    July 11, 2008

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    Lovely

    She's just too tempting...even if she runs, she can't hide from your desire for her. Another great take on this prompt. Love the assonance with the 's' sound in the first two lines...it really lends that caressing feel, perfect for the tone. Good luck!

1 - 5 of 5