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In the fire

In the fire is where I lay
Nobody will help so this is where I stay
These are the demons that I have to slay

In the embers is where I burn
For help away from this hell is what I yearn

They see me down and ready to wimper
So what do they do
They add on the timber

They just love to see me burn
Poking me with a stick they take their turn

People will watch
And people will stare
And people will do things that just don't seem fair
Do what you want I don't care

Though I fry in the fire of societies eyes
You shall fry in the fires of hell
Then you shall see that it is god you have failed
People feel sympathy talking about what I used to be

I say forget the old me
Just let me be me

There's a reason you condemn me
It's because I'm everything you need
And everything you need is a mystery

You see me and judge me by my looks
Saying I'm just the common crook
But you cant know what's inside by the cover of this book

I'm made out to be a freak
Though there's nothing wrong with my physique

I'm just out there strewn amongst the fray
But you know what, I kind of like it this way

To you this is a game you play
And if this is how you see it then I have nothing to say
Just do me a favor and stay out of my way
On my path in life I'm just trying to say

In the fire I lay
The ashes are burning as I'm taken away
But in the fire I'm okay
And because of the hell going on outside
In the fire I stay

Author notes

Author: Jake Brantley

A contest entry

What do you think? If you see something wrong tell me.

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Comments


  • aanika
    July 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    can you separate this into stanzas?
    and also, i don't like how inconsistent the rhyming is :|
    i love the emotion though
    the last line really threw me off.


  • etoile
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your rhyming pattern would sometimes change and it would make it flow better if you at least seperated it into stanzas.
    ---
    "I say forget the old me
    Just let me be me
    There's a reason you condemn me"
    ---
    i thought those 3 lines sounded awkward. you said me way to many times. maybe if you gave that a quick edit it would sound better.

    i really liked the first half of the poem. overall it was very emotional, which is what i wanted

    thanks and goodluck