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Love's Doorstep

 

Investing time in useless endeavors
when I gave all that I had
to that heart of yours

You gave nothing in return

I fought battles for you
until I was physically weak
and I felt emotionally dry
but I still loved you

Your actions should be louder than your words

This isn't what I wanted from you
I don't want your money, your sex
I want you

But I am spent, all of my body and soul
So why should I stay here
when I'm not what you desire

If it's not me you want, then who?

I approached love's doorstep,
but you never took the time
to seek and find me

I was knocking, but you heard nothing

 

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • movedon
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I was knocking, but you heard nothing"

    Wow. Sometimes walking away isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • BehindTheShadow
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So sad!


  • Lady Australis silver member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this chris
    it has sadness and longing in it as well as hurt and a little disgust
    the emotions are amzeing
    well done


  • etoile
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    when i made the contest i forgot to mention that imagery is helpful.. so sorry about that. but since then i edited the contest so maybe you can take another look. and now onto the comment:

    i liked the flow of this, especially the italics. they added emotion into the write. the beginning and the ending really captivated me which gave the poem a strong start and finish.

    thanks and goodluck


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    July 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh well. i'm not big on punctuation. unless the require it to be perfect (like for a contest), than I worry about it. and this isn't a piece where imagery plays a big part. it's built off of emotion.


  • aanika
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i enjoyed the ending.
    i did not enjoy the lack of punctuation and imagery.
    the only image was "love's doorstep" which was repeated a lot.
    good concept though.

1 - 6 of 6