Suffocating
debilitating
as I feel my heart crack
curling to the ground
I scream from the intensity of this feeling
Sound distorts and everything is drained from my sight
all I see are these images of your face
losing breathe I cannot seem to feel
my heart flutters but then skips a beat
catching up it pumps fast enough to bleed away
Drenched in my life essence my skin all shrivels up
I whither and I waste away in waiting
any single moment feels like forever in my heart
Blank and unreality fills me up
but I am brought back to the surface of that fateful focus
as I look into your deep and deadly eyes
I feel immortal as I look and see this deep inside
of you
Hallowed out I find my place
my heart shattered but was just a facade
for the demons hiding beneath
but they scampered away at the abstract sound
of loves found faith
in you
Opening my eyes
I come to realize
it wasn't just a dream....
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice, I like the eerie realization at the end, and how the last line is very unexpected. you avoided cliche well with this one, and the writing style, content, everything was really well-done. Good job.

