The tears fill my eyes,
Fighting to hold them back.
He grabs my shirt and pulls me closer,
"Do not cry," he whispers to me.
I nod my head and fight the tears,
His blood-stained eyes watching me.
He looks me over and says once more,
"Do not cry," and then he is gone.
Author notes
Prompt:
My baby boy will never cry
Raw emotion, passion, pain, sadness is all you need.
Just a note: There's nothing wrong with anyone crying, I was reading the prompt and this came to me. =)
A contest entry
- To My Baby Angel by Young Confusions.
425 points, ended July 18, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please be up front and honest and tell me what you think.
Comments
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Interesting read...simple and to the point. Crying is one of life's ultimate releases...it's just usually more negatively charged than positive.
"I nod my head and fight the tears,
His blood-stained eyes watching me."
Everyone has that one person watching over them, telling them not to cry; it's a part of life. I loved this write a lot...it's simplicity is it's strong point. Keep on writing! 7/10. -
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Thank you for the comments, I really do appreciate them and the fact that you read the poem. I agree that tears are usually more negative then positive, which is quite sad in and of itself, and your right there always is that one person. I do wish, however, that people would understand that crying is not wrong-it, in fact, is a beautiful thing when it happens naturally.
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Ironically this made me cry! Thank you very much for entering and good luck
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Thank you for reading, holding the contest, commenting, and the bronze. =)
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