In this house constructed of glass
my mind does not wander,
my mind does not care
it is only focused on the view of my surroundings.
The shadows fulfilled with color,
my own , a deep midnight blue
I stare wide-eyed,
admiring this magic.
The windows of clear plastic,
they are either evenly crooked
sane-fully broken,
or beautifully crystal.
The floors designed of wood,
they are either twisted in shape,
uprooted from their ground
or
perfectly polished.
I stumble on, amazed at this euphoric nightmare.
I stop short, my brain in awe.
in front of me is the assortment of fireflies
huddling together,
or swarming apart,
they are majestic
creatures of the rainbow,
glowing vivaciously in the dark.
At this I can no longer breathe
No longer think clearly.
forfeit my sanity
and toss away my last breath,
I would give anything to live here
to survive on the beauty,
but i know,
don't i know,
that'll i'll wake up.
and this dream will never occur again
Author notes
Take a bow and exit stage left...
Option # 6
A contest entry
- Build Me Worlds, Tell Me Stories, Show Me How Creative You Can Be by Enkeli.
550 points, ended July 28, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did You Like It ?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Kick ass
I rather enjoyed this. -
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Why thank you
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Kick ass
I rather enjoyed this. -
awww wow, this is very emotional and powerful, nicely done and good luck
take care, stephanie ♥ -
Good
You tell a story with such freshness and reality that it soon attaches itself to our reality and we take partial ownership of the emotions poured forth. Very well done!
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Before I begin to review your entry, I'd like to point out that you did not put the option you chose [#6 I believe?] or the phrase "Take a bow and exit stage left"... which is supposed to show me you read the rules. Please do so, this is your only warning.
Now...
"I stumble on, amazed at this euphoric nightmare."
This is a very clever and vivid line. I especially like the way you paired "euphoric" and "nightmare"... brilliant, it gives it so much meaning.
Your imagery and phrasing throughout this piece leaves a strong mental image in my mind... I like that. To me, that is a sign of well-written poetry.
I have one other complaint, I'm not trying to be picky but there are alot of typos that I noticed. Please use spell check to fix them... they distract a little, taking away the full effect of this great poem. -
i loved the beautiful imagery in this piece.
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