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Golden

silence is golden
    but this silence
is black

dark silence
    not the middle-of-the-night silence
but silence that is heavy

weighing down upon me
    seeping through my hair
into me

tingling sensations
    darkness drips down me
cold, icy silence

where did you go?




Author notes

You might be wondering what this has to do with music, so I will tell you. It is about the ABSENCE of music, hence,
~where did you go?~

As in, the music.

OR~~
this poem can be about anything you want, wherever your mind takes you.

A contest entry

Only critical comments, please

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • SubKitten
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    Very well written piece. I like the tone and mood you set for this. It works very well, and the flow of the piece is very smooth. The fact that this can be related to almost anything the reader wants is a wonderful touch.


  • chasingtheday gold member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    ah music, we all love it in some form or other, and if you do not you are strange! to lose music would devasting to anyone, it makes me think of people who become deaf later in life and lose so much, a good poem.


  • oceanlove
    December 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow.

    does the last haiku have to do with my beach party?(if so we need to talk in person)


  • Edwardlover
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice one Emmy

    I really enjoy haiku's. I love the Ocean. i 'm glad you added that that last part 'cuz i coulden't really Tell what you were asking about when you said"were did you go"


    • oceanlove
      December 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      wth?!?!?!

      wth happened to your allpoetry face?!?!?!?!!?


  • cvillelisa
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    Round 3 is up. Please follow the same format, posting your final poem underneath your haiku.

    Thanks and good luck.

    Lisa


  • Lute
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    s s s s s
    Rushing aqua tones - (5)
    s s s s s s
    Swirl around my bare feet - (6)
    s s ss s
    Bitter ocean tears - (5)

    round 2:

    content 7
    vocabulary 7.4
    accuracy 8
    creativity 7.2
    theme 7
    originality 6.6

    totals: 43.2

  • cvillelisa
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your Haiku. We are scoring them today and will be posting Round 3 Instructions. Stay tuned!

    Lisa


  • cvillelisa
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Round 2 instructions have been posted on the contest page, please read and begin!

    Good luck.

    Lisa


  • Lute
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    content 6.5
    vocabulary 9
    accuracy 8.2
    creativity 7
    theme 7.2
    originality 6.8

    totals 44.7


  • Frank N Beevers
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    left alignment is a good starting point for improvement. Is there a reason that it is center-aligned that is not apparent to me?

    darkness drips down me?


  • dp robertson
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    how zen

1 - 12 of 12