Immortality
So lonely
So quiet
At times when life should go on
And I should be dead
Forever trapped as this person
Mistakes I’ve made to cloud my every waking moment
The love of those I have shared
And lost
To the four corners of the earth
I have traveled
Lived in riches
In castles and in lands
Not even the eye can imagine
And nothing is enough
For death is all I wish for
So much gained
Far more lost
So is immortality
This lonely rich world
A gift
Or a curse?
A contest entry
- Immortality... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended July 23, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampire Poems! by hazeleyedfreak.
600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like how you present immortality as an unsatisfying place, full of the loneliness of this 'rich world'.You give the 'voice' a ghostly quality, as one who merely observes life around them not truly able to join in. Well conceived. Best of luck in the contest. Peace, Rhonda
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A true scenario of the life is revealed..well done...Thank you so much for entering my contest..my friend...
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Very good poem, and I agree in that the concept of immortality is very saddening. For some reason, I get the vision of a vampire in this poem, but then again, when I think of a lonely immortal, I think of a vampire. I'm also biased because I love vampires lol. Anyways, once again, good poem, and keep writing! =D
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