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Unknown

You walk away, your face is dark

  With shadows cast by guilt and shame

 Your cries, released from deep within the cage

  Go unheeded:

 Apathy is the impenetrable wall 

Your steps are heavy

  Burdened with the weight of pointlessness

With the never-ending path twice-traveled

  And half finished

   Which just as soon to end would it begin

Dark mark mars your visage

And by your pariah you are exiled

  And cursed to know that your final escape

 Must be by your own hand

But having not the courage

You walk the path

Awaiting the realization of your lonely fate

Your own alone 

 

 

Author notes

I'm the most fucking retarded person EVER. I DELETED THE FIRST VERSION OF THIS WHICH WAS A MILLION TIMES BETTER! Or I didn't delete it, but I went up to the top and pressed Add instead of submit. I swear to god I'm an imbecile, a dolt, insipid piece of crap. Goddamn. Oh well, hopefully this one will satisfy the masses.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Age of Rain
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This had some unusual word choices 'pariah' 'unheeded', etc. Your format was kind of...meh, but the poem itself was good enough. Best of luck.


  • crystalmeth
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for your comment on Cupid's Cutthroat. (:
    Much appreciated ; I'[m glad you like it.

    Fantastic piece. (:
    Very dark and beautiful.
    I can relate very well.


  • EvansV
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    im so envious that was a great poem


  • toomysterious
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are too hard on yourself and I love it. The poem. You are young enough, you should be able to remember a good line, not like myself, so I doubt you lost much 'cause this version is superb. Somebody was doing an apathy contest, why aren't you in it???

    • aidenspektor
      July 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      The only lines I managed to recreate were the first five and the last three. When I write I do it very stream-of-consciousness style, so it's like, as soon as I have it down it gets dumped from my memory. I'm fairly happy with the result though, and I'm glad you liked it


  • Nothing But No
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I still like the hatchet one better but you know...hatchets =D

    ....this is good too though =]

    mmm hatchets.

    • aidenspektor
      July 11, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I know, I love me a good hatchet poem too....maybe I'll start a contest all about hatchets.

  • KalliopePhoenix
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    HORRIBLE

    Kidding, Kidding. It's actually one of your best. Maybe it's a good thing that you deleted the first one. I can't see how this could be any better. And I'm in the perfect mood, listening to Ev and everything.


  • movedon
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one is just fine in my eyes. Good imagery. Saddening, yet you're aware of it. You're not retarded, I've done that a million times. The beginning ties to the end, making it run a full circle. Well done Ben. It's not bad at all.

    Warmest,
    Mylee

1 - 10 of 10