He's convinced he could hold back a glacier
He's forgotten how weak he truly is
Caught up in all the wars waging around him
He ignored the one waged within
Decay set hold and ate away
A hollow shell by all inclinations
But still able to kill with a glance
Battled too many hurricanes
Stood toe to toe with too many giants
Only natural some scars would show
Hidden in his battered armour
He's only afraid of the light in the dark
He says he doesn't need saving
But he doesn't really mean it
He was convinced he could hold back a glacier
I guess we know now how that will end
Author notes
Option 3
A contest entry
- (Un)Comfortable in my Skin or I will (not) be fine by ixtli.
450 points, ended July 12, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Love the use of metaphor in this and the way you depcit the feelings of 'him' so effectively. He seems to be someone who thinks highly of himself and yet in reality is relatively weak - is this aimed at any specific person? Really like the use of light in the dark, that actuall sent a chill through me. Tiny nitpick re grammar should be too many, not to many.
Overall I really liked this, it's an effective and intelligent write, thanks for sharing and keep up the excellent work.
Cheers
-
-
Thank you for the nitpicking. That is usually my biggest problem, so thank you for pointing it out for me. It is about someone in specific of course. That part, however, is open to interpretation.
-
-
Oh my god. Just WOW. Its an amazing poem and it has a great flow to it. I love how you repeated the first line on the second to last line. Had a really powerful impact to it. Great write!
xx
. Rewarded 4
-
Really great poem. Making it all metaphoric was a new twist. I can relate as well which is a bonus by far. Extremely creative and beautifully penned ~mandie~
-
Wow, this was really cool. I liked how you made the whole poem seem like a metaphor. That was really cool. I can relate to a lot of this, if not all of it.
"He says he doesn't need saving
But he doesn't really mean it"
But he is embarassed to admit he was wrong!
I know that feeling. I have went through denial before too. I know that is. But now I'm back to reality.
This was a great write.
Definitely keep writing, don't put that pen away! Very creative and nicely done. Good job
~Pandy
. Rewarded 8
-
this is gorgeous...and has some lovely twists and turns.
it proves how guys have this how macho facade about them...ugh...they think they take on the world one word of denial at a time...
good write and good luck
. Rewarded 4
-
cool, denial is a hoorible thing, it could kill. good luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
