We shoot rubber bands
into the ceiling fan, bored hands
bored minds, hot bodies
in underwear
waiting for a service tech
to restore our lives
with a filter and refrigerant;
you snap the cat awake,
wander away from our game
into a room with more than one window -
it’s then I notice how white
your legs look in skivvies bleached
too many times,
and they remind me of the egrets
you want to photograph
chasing off the tide,
whenever we can get the hell
out of August.
In a list
A contest entry
- one wing isn't even enough to leave by hilly.
300 points, ended July 11, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Life in the deep south...
I grew up in a house without air conditioning in NW louisiana. Bed pushed against the windowsill for the steady breeze of the attic fan. We would wipe down with a damp cloth to get to sleep... -
Oops, think you deserve these...
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Raw and willful, impatient work. Love it! PLEASE find a publisher!
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Raw, and willful, like an unexpected passionate kiss on a hot summer's day. I personally do not wear white underwear, and, they are boxer briefs.
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A wonderfully vivvid 'snap-shot'!
Sol
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I love this...
you can capture a mood in your poems like no one else...
wonderful descriptions of this moment...
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patience left unattended...
talk about basking in a weaver's frame. this piece conjures certain sultry interventions with less necessity for spicy brown mustards and bovine curds. i just think you might wanna check your calendar before you open the lens and rapid fire ensues...the rubber band line was just the right touch.
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there's a much deeper beauty to this piece than the obvious "heat" ... a simple peace, a slowing down of time, like watching the beauty of a clock's second hand dancing in circles, slowing down life's unavoidable progress ... slowing down enough to capture a moment between your lips long enough to just briefly taste it ... (enough said)
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Memories make good poems; we remember the sharp, salient sensations, the quirky impressions. This is very vivid - I can almost feel myself there, propped up on a couple of pillows, pinging rubber bands at all and sundry... aiming one at the somnolent cat... watching it startled awake, stalking off indignantly. I love this.
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Being born in August, I, of course, think August deserves more than leaving.
Any time without air conditioning is moments in hell. The second greatest invention, after the water closet, is, of course, air conditioning.
Modesty mingled with sweat and strecthed rubber often lead to thoughts of egrets and if you are lucky prayers for the frogs. May
the mud at the base of the stance not ooze to quickly between the toes.
Yours as a puff of fresh air,
Tom B.
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Luvit!
I'm riveted by your links of life. For me, this, like most of your poetry, works in my eyes and my ears, satisfies my head and keeps it clicking after I've moved on. Most of all it works down there, below my guts, where I'm told if something's real.
Thanks for this.
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I've lived so many of those days...when it's almost too hot to even breathe.
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Some days I stick my head in the freezer section of the fridge. Maybe I need a Trane?
Nice reflective poem my dear.
Joe
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lol Just love it when you write like this, a moment and you capture it all. Love, C
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You always make the most simple things sound completely inviting and beautiful Lane! I felt the heat just reading this... which is surprising as it's freezing here! lol
Wonderfully written as always hun!
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My Lady
Another nice snap shot. YA can't even take a cold shower 'cause when you get out it's twice as hot.
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It oft takes a bird with a wounded wing to appreciate the subtle beauty of everyday things. As people seem to be so damn busy they can't see what is right before them
at times, just waiting to be inhaled by their senses.
(I just had a 16 seer Trane installed, I believe I am good for the summer.
)
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I like it (maybe just because it has you in your underwear!) The picture is painted so perfectly.
Hope it gets cooler soon!
Jeff
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This is a memory written in poetry...I am, thankfully, very cool tonight Love, Lane
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I liked this a lot! You've created a great scene..
g'luck in the contest.!
S.P.~
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I remember fun with rubber bands.
A lovely write as always.
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