Dappling sun and shade swaying in the wind,
the warm smell of the loam under foot,
the sounds of bird and squirrels chattering in the canopy,
a quiet walk in the woods,
renew and refresh the senses,
recharging the batteries that life runs down.
Author notes
Photo credit: Forest by Moonshadow
In a list
A contest entry
- nature in the forest by misticmoonlite.
600 points, ended July 18, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold I by Salty Hibiscus.
400 points, ended February 19, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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gorgeous picture and your take on the prompt is brilliant. thanks for sharing.
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Merry meet,
Thank you very much for the Gold. This is one of my favorite poems. When the world becomes a bit too much, I read this and imagin being in the photo.
Amythest
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Oh, I suspect that this was written during a warm time (or in a perpetually warm place). I'd love to recharge my batteries, though I fear I might have to risk frostbite to do so
But, yeah, nature has a way of refreshing and revitalizing that can't be synthesized by man.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Very peaceful; your gold is well deserved. Note how your word choice in the first line advances the mood you convey: it's almost palpable.
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Nice! Beautifully written and congratulations on your gold. I do love poems about nature and I do like the imagery that you invoked in the imaginings of my mind. Write on, poet.
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Merry meet,
Thank you.
Amythest
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Wow
This is a great write. The only advice I would have is more commas! It sounds funny I know, but I find sometimes with short poems, they read too fast to let you really soak in how great they are. Lots of commas slows them down a bit and lets you relish in the writing.
For Example:
Dappling sun, and shade swaying in the wind,
the warm smell of the loam, under foot.
There are not that many commas but it slows it down a bit so you pause and read slowly.
Great Write. Thank you for featuring it! -
I like it. It's short, but it's perfect. I'm not sure that I'd change all that much of it, as it describes what we all need at times. To just, have a moment to recharge and find ourselves again.
Well done.
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Merry meet,
Thank you for commenting and for your applause.
Amythest
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so true, and eloquently put also.
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Merry meet,
Thank you for your generous applause and your wonderful compliment.
Amythest
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congrats on winning gold for this one. I enjoyed the fresh breath of fresh air in the metaphoric breeze within this piece. Great work on this one.
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Merry meet,
Thank you for your congrats. All I had to do was go a mile or so from where I live and *poof* there I am in the middle of the picture.
Thank you for reading my poem.
Amythest
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ordinary
Was this judged on the poem or the pretty picture -
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Merry meet,
Since the holder of the contest chose the picture, it would have to be on the picture.
Amythest -
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Amythest Moonjade
"Thoughts in the woods" After reading some of your other
poems I didnt think it was up to your usual standard.
But on reflection I dont think it's fair that I should comment on it as I don't like rhymeless prose.
Best Wishes and please accept my apology.George ++++
P.S. My poem called "Poetricality" explains better what I mean lol. -
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Merry meet George,
I did not take offense at your comment on my work. I thank you for reading some of my other work. The reason I don't rhyme is because I do it very badly. There is enough bad rhyme on this (or any) site that I do not inflict it upon others. To rhyme takes skill (I do practice in private) so that it does not achieve what I call the "sing-song" effect.
There was no apology needed as we just have different points of view. Thank you again for reading some of my work.
Amythest -
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Amythest Moonjade
Many Thanks for your considerate reply may I give you a
very good tip on rhyming. Keep a small pocket book and set
out in alphabetical order.e.g. All ball call fall hall.etc.
Bet debt get jet let met.etc.Which you can readily consult.
This saves a lot of time,and avoids brain fag. I hope this
helps you a little with your temporary difficulties.
Best Wishes and Kind Regards George ++++
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Good!
I hate nature poems. But I really like this one! You used a lot of words that I haven't seen anyone else use in a nature poem. I like the word "loam." And I liked that you adequately described the loam in one line instead of eight. I think that's why I avoid nature poems: people tend to make them really long and overly descriptive and everything becomes trite. This one was short, sweet, and original. I liked it!
I can't believe I'm actually applauding a nature poem.
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Merry meet,
Thank you for your wonderful comments. I too, hate overly long and descriptive nature poems, actually I don't care for overly long poems period.
Most are just wordy and could have gotten across the point about 1/3 the way through. Thank you for your applause, as it is surely appreciated.
Amythest
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this was great!
you know this was a very refreshing write. kinda' LIKE a walk in the woods. sometimes you just need to get away, and take that walk. cause sometimes we all need to be 'recharged'. short and sweet. didn't have to even really think about it. like that walk. love gypsyfish
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Merry meet gypsyfish,
Thank you for your applause. I'm glad that you "enjoyed your walk". I have several nature poems listed under Nature on my author's page if you would like to check them out, please feel free. I'm glad that you enjoyed my write.
Amythest
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"Dappling sun..." i just like the phrase. loam. loam! it's enjoyable to read someone's work when i have to refrence a dictionary or google.
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Merry meer sekmhet,
Thank you for your applause. I'm glad that I was able to increase your vocabulary. Seriously, I'm glad that you liked it.
Amythest
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This was nice though I wasn't particularly enamoured by it. I liked the first line best. In the last line, I didn't think the phrase "recharging the batteries" really fit with the subject of the poem, but the idea behind it was fine.
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Merry meet,
thank you for reading my poem. I'm sorry that you didn't really care for it, but that is the nice thing about poetry, you can always find something that you would like. Thank you again for reading and commenting.
Amythest
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these words make me feel the urge to go for a nice woodsy walk.
very well written.
went straight to my senses.
and it couldn't be more true.
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Merry meet PoeticAlien,
Thank you for your applause. I'm glad that you enjoyed my work.
Amythest
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ah so true..as life in the wilderness is changing as
they are cut away, but some are still very nicely preserved, thank you for this entry, and most of all for the recognition of my photograpy, not a pro but love to take pics.. good luck in my contest
Lin
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Merry meet MoonsShadow,
Thank you for your wonderful comments and for the applause that you have given my poem. I always like to cite the photo (if I can) that I place with my poetry. Your picture makes me think of one of my favorite places here in Montana.
Thank you again for your applause.
Amythest
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