I read the letter that you left me.
Then I framed it on my wall.
So that I could see it always.
While I wait for you to call.
I want to say I'm sorry,
and hold you in my arms.
But you aren't going to let me.
You claim my voice's false & charmed.
I know I drink too much,
and I stay out all damn night,
but still that's better
than coming home just to fight
anymore...
Now who am I supposed to turn to?
When things get hard to bear.
Since I only have your letter.
To dwell upon and stare.
I remember poems and paintings.
That I made up just for you.
They're still in your closet
While I'm out here, the lonely fool.
I know I drink too much,
and I stay out all damn night,
but still that's better
than coming home just to fight
anymore...
I should have stayed home on those nights.
When you chose to cry.
But instead I went out with my friends.
Never knowing why.
Now forever has no boundaries.
That I can plainly see.
Now all I wish to hope for.
Is that you'll remember me.
Author notes
www.gangbox.com/mp3/rememberme.mp3
this is just a first stab rough draft at the song in lo-fi
from about three years ago.
Written January 5th, 2004
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1 - 12 of 12
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Awsome. When tori likes something than it's something to be proud of
kiddin. But I did enjoy reading. Wish it was a bit longer, but what I just read was enough to make me satisfied, dont think ive ever read your work cept for this one, so I look forward to readin more. Thanks for sharing, keep it up, take care. xoxo. ~victoria~
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this is wondeful, I was having a real shitty night read this and now I am going to go crawl in bed and snuggle up to my man...congrats on the trophy...you have so much talent, use it wisely my friend.
Edited on Nov 19, 11:43 p.m. because ''. -
Aw, this is wonderful. You did a good job, held good imagery. Keep it up, Thanks.
~Sandra -
i really like that, my best poem ever came from my biggest regret. funny how acting like total wankers to those we love can make us all creative.
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This is definately a good song!!!!!!!! Somethings we cant change but this really speaks volumes on life!
I really like this line here
"Now forever has no boundaries."
That speaks to the reader in many ways.
She left but the question I have did she walk out the door or did her blood spill and pour on to the floor! I can see it both ways! Great Piece! -
I like the imagery used to express the sadness of loss. So many reminders of what you had, why you lost it and you have only the hope of being remembered to cling to. The reader will definitely sense the pain.
An emotional and well-expressed piece.
Thank you for your entry and good luck
~Kathy -
O chode buddy i loved the poem and i feel he pain...definatly fucked up like that before...i'm good at screwing a perfect thing up like that and i always seem to. By the way esty flew to my house today you wouldn't believe it if i todl you but she had stamps on her from gutamala and idonesia and well japan and italy, fucking crazy that thing came back.
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Wow.. this made me cry. You have no idea how this effects me.. it hit way too close to home. But it's a beautiful piece, but even though I haven't heard the music for it, I think it's lovely just as a poem.
Great job.. good luck in the contest!
xoxo forevermore -
This poem hits right home because you are my ex-boyfriend. This poem is the reason why I left. It is really beautiful to see it from another perspective but it really cut deep to read this! it took a lot of courage and power to write this and post it, I respect you a lot for posting. Very raw and truthful poem.~Daina
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awww...
why would someone laugh at you for being "romantic" or even touching? you are allowed u know to express a feeling other than anger...
Nyx... -
aw this is so cute.and well written.wish i could hear the music to go with it.
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I have to comment as you used the word sappy ,tis one I use often myself.
Trying to write of something that doesnt come as easy as others is a task in itself but its a challenge no?.
No need of laughter as you have done far better than I.
Good luck with the contest
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