I know I am immortal
but I rarely get to see
the dawn-light that flows
into the world through me
I caught a glimpse of it today, though
when I watched two of my own
taking care of one another
though both are nearly grown
I saw my mothers face
held a moment in 'her' smile
and my father's laugh I heard
in the voice of another child
I know I am in there somewhere
held in the sinew, flesh and bone
and I hope one day, a long time from now,
when I've been called away Home
that my children's children
will hear my voice and see my smile too
and know that Love lives inside of them
long after I've disappeared from view
So, I know I am immortal
I know I shall live on
in invisible Light that holds us all
in everlasting Dawn
A contest entry
- Immortality... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended July 23, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Share your thoughts...
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Another aspect of imortality, so well expressed and felt
Well done dear friend.
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Beautiful
Nice Rhyming.Just a sugestion, is it not out of meter..tis one,
'will hear my voice and see my smile too"
the word "too" is heavy in this line I think..well I am not a critique. overall it a very refereshing poem.
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Inded a heartfelt theory you revealed I love it..well done...Thank you so much for entering my contest..my friend...
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what a lovely way to look at your own reflction right in the front of eyes...it is just amazing the way you captured the moment in your words...great write...i really enjoyed it...
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...Thank you for the wonderful comment, Darshan...it is always a pleasure to see you here. Peace, Rhonda
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Wow you brought me chills with this lovely and sincere piece..you took me back to a personal experience..that I will try to share with you quickly here..
I went last summer backhome and I didn't go for nearly 3years before that..I got to see my family finally..and my older brother in matter of 3years changed so much to just looks like my dad...you have to see how much tears kept falling when I got to hug him after those 3years...It was just like i was hugging my dad honestly....everything looked for few min that it was him back...
and also in my stay each one of my brothers moves or jokes..reminded of my dad that I lost years back...so he is really not dead as you said in your piece..we will all live the eternity in the genes of our children, grand children and so on..
Wonderful job Rhonda..you're Amazing sweety
Ruby
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Ruby...you have my heart... ...Thank you for so personal a comment...and I understand how it feels...to go home after a long separation...seeing the face of a loved one in the newborn niece, or hearing the voices of my brother or my father in a young man whose voice has deepened and become that of a man...it feels like the spirit of generations is present in the room...like a, much needed, hug from the past...melancholy yet so very sweet reminders of Love everlasting...Hope you're feeling better too sweetie...Peace, Rhonda
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Thanks Rhonda..you're so sweet
Ruby
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That you can visualize yourself in your children - in their smile, actions and also you imagine your grandchildren will see you through yourself or through their parents are itself your depth in looking into it. When you extend this further perhaps you will see the same not only in your present near and dear but in others whom you may not know but still your very love will reach them in one form or the other. That is how we all are bound in ONE. A great write. Wish you best in the contest.
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Sandip...your words here are so reassuring and filled with Truth...we ARE all connected, aren't we?...Thanks for your good wishes and thoughtful comment. Peace, Rhonda
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reminds me of genetics...yes we are immortal, we may die but certainly our genes are passed on and there we live forever. nice thoughts...
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Carolina! Again, a great pleasure to have you visit...I have missed you...Yes, genetics, but so much more even than that...bless you, my friend...Peace, Rhonda
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This gave me goosebumps as I read it. It's beautiful.
the dawn-light that flows
into the world through me
I love these lines....reminds me of you. (Especially our chat yesterday!
)
From a mothers point of view, I can see the motherly love and the pride here and it's lovely.
I know I am in there somewhere
held in the sinew, flesh and bone
I adore these lines too. Brilliant poem....it moved me.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Skye...your comments always move me too...humble thanks for your sweet words. Peace, Rhonda
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This is nice, but you are looking at things very passively. There is an active immortality, too. Thanks for the sweet and sentimental write.
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Thanks for the kind and gentle comment AngelMan...Peace, Rhonda
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goospumps
Incredibly sensational ..
*applause*
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RamiSon, it has been too long since you've visited, so happy to find you here...Thanks for the encouraging comment. Peace to you, RhondaMom
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I believe that your sentiments point to truth.
Not only that but what is true is already so. That your true self beyond temporality embraces all which appertains to you, as none other than that same True Self which, through its own Compassion, appears as you.
It is this 'I' which is immortal and not its appearances...
and we are not only appearance, which it seems to me, you have already said.
Such love expressed here.
All the best with the contest.
Sol
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Much my pleasure and honour that you allow me to...
and as you do for me.
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Sol...your perspective is always a surprising positive for me...thanks for holding the mirror here...Bless you, Rhonda
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