I close my eyes and picture heaven
For, twas heaven enough to me.
In my minds eye I can see
Fields of swaying wheat,
Of greenness, a dewy morning scene,
A time of drought between
When flooding rains came to sooth the heart.
As I open my eyes, a pang of pain
As I compare my mind scene again.
So long since we saw a drop of hope.
I wipe sweat from my brow
From heat the sun endow.
I look up, my eyes watering
Heat so intense, fields lie bare around me
Brown, dusty sand, like a desolate earth-sea.
Once fertile soil, stripped of life essential minerals
By the baking, blistering, boiling sun.
In my mind, a picturesque field, extended garden.
But, to my true eye, empty fields run around me
Laced with cracks, caked with salt
Exposed of top soil by wind assault.
Bereft of wheat, golden or green,
Over the land, heat and wind waltz.
At my feet, a traveling dust cloud halts.
Man it’s a hot one today.
A contest entry
- man it's a hot one by Cat.
1500 points, ended July 20, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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The use of description is beautiful but i gotta say that the ending had me laughing all the way to the floor!!!


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I loved the images that you create in this piece. Your use of description was wonderful and really brought the piece to life. My favourite lines were hard to choose but the first two really stuck with me for some reason. Great work x
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get lost... this is the best poem i've herd from shannon yet... but then i do complement everything she does... maby ya just gota know the kid =)
(i do)

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the rule was mostly no end line rhyme
and you did mostly all end line rhyme-
i don't think
this will fair well in the contest- feel free to
delete and reenter or leave this one here and take your chances
nice to see a new name in my contest- but i am a bit of a stickler with my end line rhyming- it has to be spot on
and underused
thanks
Mary



