immortality
is loneliness
to watch those
you loved die
be condemned
punished
for eternity
to suffer
in darkness
never to feel
the warmth
of the sun
on your face
imortality
is dispear
exile from
all emotions
and touch
and humanity
A contest entry
- Immortality... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended July 23, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Curse of time
Forever would be over never.
Good insight and a light tone for a poem that could be so dark. Well done
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nice description to define the immortality with a scenario of this life..well done...Thank you so much for entering my contest..my friend...
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The message is clearly expressed. A couple of hiccups which you will soon find. A good poem and a good read. Thank you. Good luck in the contest.
-
Extremely well expressed.
Terse and insightful.
A comma here and there
would help a bit, IMO.
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