vibrations fall, softly;
their hush, light and soothing,
as calm trembles
the heart
chords wash
inflamed by touch,
the rhythm, bruised,
aching
quickened,
eager etches
desire, tranquility -
tenderness ignites
the yearning;
uncovered,
as peace throbs,
flowing passion
In a list
A contest entry
- Gnossiennes by Keith.
600 points, ended July 28, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There is almost a paradox ...
in the title, causing that incredible and exciting tension only gentle passion can instigate ...
A tactile and very moving write ... I think the host of this contest agreed.
Blessed be, Frans.
Myra
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I read it, filled in the blanks and love it. The implicit passion was tangible. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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You have used the prompt well - the minimal phrasing with powerful images - such as: "the rhythm, bruised, aching" and "tenderness ignites" - all echo the music very neatly.
Quick question: should the third line read "as calm trembles the heart"? (Calm is singular). Just a personal point of view, not a criticism... lol
Excellent poem - I really do wish you well in the contest! Best, p
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I like this. It's the first entry (perhaps the only one?) and has a Satie-esque quality, if there is such a thing. I wondered whether you meant chords in the first line of stanza two? Though a heart has cords, doesn't it? Nicely Done.
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A gentle passion lasts the longest; it's a fire that keeps burning, giving warmth and light. Loved the line "tenderness ignites" - yes, always.
~ Nicolette
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The passion for peace, in the world, in our lives and in our hearts. Yes it is soft soothing and hopeful. Love, C
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Very nice and passionate, well done. My best wishes always.
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