Did you see me?
Sailing veiled in tangerine skies, dancing with the sun
as whispering winds propelled hope to vessel
marooned on an island of memories,
a tossed bottle was adrift in chameleon eyes
with parchment curled tightly
between constant disappointments
fragile syllables that intended truth
deluge in briny blinks of rising fog
as preservation from torn heartbeats
weaved a lifeboat of uncertainty
torment followed; behind a crescent moon
reviving tides of deceit as raindrops cascade
in drizzling silence,
rippling a hushed heart to storm
seafaring alone, under darkened skies
in a stagnant stench of sinking
I gasp for last breath,
always wondering why the sun
keeps submerging into the sea~
Author notes
Picture option 4
Sorry, just where my muse took me
In a list
A contest entry
- Be Inspired By Getty Images by Errant Panther.
520 points, ended July 20, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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A little darker than I have come to expect from you, nonetheless this had stunning visuals, captivating in emotion and story telling. great use of the prompt.
oops, forgot to mention before, this line "marooned on an island’s of memories" because memories is plural you don't need the 's on "island" -
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lol Yes, I agree.. a bit in the darker corners for me. I am so delighted you enjoyed this one! Thank you so very much for hosting this wonderful inspiring contest and for the lovely award and comment Scott!
Jazzy
ps. I just hate it when I do that with the "s"es
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Your muse know where to point you and you never failed. Nice used pictures captured my attention while I was reading it. Good luck.
~Sonja~
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Thank you sweet lady for the lovely comment on my poem! It always puts a smile upon my face to hear from you
Linda
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Lovely Imagery!
Thanks for sharing your oh so gifted soul here my friend!
It has been awhile, and I'm very pleased to read you once again.
You always pen such beautiful poetry, I think it
Peace, Timothy
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Thank you Timothy, it is always so wonderful when you get the chance to grace one of my poems with your lovely comments!!
Thank you my friend for your very inspiring words!!
Jazzy
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Wow!
As a novice poet my self, I feel like I have just opened a door here to the highest level of poetry... I find my self stunned in awe before this piece. I am quite humbled, but I absolutely loved it. I'm really greatful that you have shared this beautiful poem. Need I say more
Best of luck in contest!
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Thank you for the very lovely comment on my poem. I am so honored your thought so highly of this piece. It is a pleasure to hear such an inspiring comment!
Thank you again!
Jasminerose
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So glad I clicked on this one first. It has been awhile since I have read a poem that was not my own. I seem to be bored too easily by them anymore, but this one was intriguing. made me feel like I had washed up on a shore of pain and confusion really. Great writing, but then, you always have some amazing words to pen.
Good luck in the contest.
Love,
~Krys~
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Awwww Kyrs, it is always such a pleasure to have you comment on one of my poems.. your thougths mean a great deal to me and always bring a smile to my heart!!
Thank you so very much for making my evening brighter!!
Jazzy
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Why the appology?? I loved reading this superb free write and it made me realise how much I have to work to atain such mastery! Maybe I'll stick to rhyme!!
Love Hilly xxx
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lol The apology was for the fact that my muse went a bit south in gloom with this beautiful picture
I think you should absolutely continue with your free verse and rhyme as both are always beautifully written!!!!
Thank you for the lovely comment my dear friend
Linda
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A lovely piece that stands brilliant - without the image, yet you give it a voice never achieved on its very own. Great imagery and sullen beauty of depth throughout. Excellent write my dear!!!
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Thank you sweet sister, for the lovely and very inspiring comment on my poem. Always so wonderful to hear your thoughts on my poetry!
Jazzy
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Super smooth entry. Vibrant end.
Like a cloth with beautiful frills all around.
Cut pieces to patch within.
Suggestions-
Take a smaller bite.
Then expand.
Never quit the poem till the end.
I think you are a good judge if i remember correctly.
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I often wonder that myself.. as bitter disappointments keep coming. I think you have penned piece that many will relate to regardless of what it is that is submerging the sun in their own life.. I know I surely can...
And as always, penned with your grace and beautiful style!
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Thank you sweet lady for the lovely comment
It is always such a pleasure to hear your thoughts on my poetry!!
Linda
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This is so amazing...
Sadly beautiful...I found this so easy to relate to that it really struck a chord in my heart...
♥ so I will just say that it is one of your best and filled with so much emotion and
I LOVED the ending :
"I gasp for last breath,
always wondering why the sun
keeps submerging into the sea~"
Sigh... Well,
we can only ponder these thoughts,
in hindsight.
Keep penning these amazing creations of yours
Lynda
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Awww thank you so very much for the beautiful and insightful compliment You're the bestest!
I shall try to keep them flowing
Jazzy
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