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For the world

let my voice scream in your deaf ear
let your blood flow at the sign of a tear
let your pain flow to me through sound and sight
let me be your tunnel into the blinding light

let thunder crash across dying hearts
to let the dying souls depart
let points of glass rain down
to let the screaming voices drown

let lightning flash and strike
so much love and pain...all alike
let metal scream with your last breath
let your mind slip slowly into impending death

let water turn to deathly ice
let my love pay the the costly price
but with its last beat
let your love be complete

let the earth keep me near
let your lie filled ears hear
that i love it, i need it
I never ever will quit

let mortality come nearer
let cold minds form a mirror
of hate, of hope, of lust
of anything you trust

let the world see what pain does
let the world see what i was
let love combine with hate
to form that irresistable fate






Author notes

really really old poem, just found it under my bed
(username: pain without love)
“Gummy bears will soon take over the world.”

A contest entry

what is your first impression?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Baisi
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great work. I can understand the betrayal and anger in this, though I can't exactly grasp it, because I've never been in the situation. You know what I mean?

  • She Stole My Voice
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the word 'let' is really over used.
    That's the only negative thing I have to say about it.
    It's well written.
    Good luck in all those contests and in mine. :]
    ♥


    -rainbow.


  • JustWhoIAm
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa!

    This is good. No. This is very good. No, This is freaking AMAZING.

    I love this, it is a great write and I'm finding it hard to find fault with it, I especially love the third stanza and the use of imagery

  • Quad cannon
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    The touching power of one so strong to the message of the heart's song... This poem is a emotion ride of which my happiness died.


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I am surprised this hasn't won a trophy before. Amazing write; and so full of powerful feelings of pain and conflict. It ends with a sense of having resolved some of this. I like it a lot! Great imagery and use of metaphor. Best wishes in the contest.


  • SilverWolf
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Really sad dark poem! I love how it flows!
    It has no feeling of forced rhyme! Great job!
    Every line is very good, and i can feel the sadness and anger and pain. I really love the begining especially! Its a good dark poem that isnt like the rest! Its amazing!


  • Missa
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    kool dark. i love it.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the mixed imagery in this poem. Thank you for entering this contest just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • nilav
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    there is so much angst and indignation in those lines to make it impressive...


  • Hebz
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Defintely a finalist.

    Amazing job done here, I very like it.

    Thnx for entering & Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • HereComesTheSun
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i love the last part

    the last lines hit me the strongest and had such emotion great job

1 - 11 of 11