I never expected any of this.
But then again, who would've?
Honestly. I wasn't the type,
I shouldn't have tried.
However, I did.
So now, everything has changed.
Nothing was really that bad;
truly I was just curious.
Thus I launched myself off.
Into this dark forest,
that I could not escape.
I clued in that somehow,
the only way out
was to go farther in.
In I divulged farther forward;
nearly drowing in the darkness.
Yet, it was darkness
that I'd submerged myself into
by every choice of my own.
The irony of it was,
this was what I wanted.
I had wanted to know,
just what it was like;
to be depressed and sorrowful.
I deperately needed to know
what others were living through.
I trudged deeper into these sorrows
and searched for someway out.
As I walked farther into this forest,
I began to notice something.
The water on the ground,
from the tears of Heaven and myself,
reflected something I'd not seen of late.
Small bits of light reflected before me.
Small bits of hope for tomorrow.
Yet, the hope was far away;
the light wasn't here.
It was somewhere in the lands I'd left.
Function started to leave me,
as revelations spun their webs.
While hope was mine for now,
the source was very far off.
I knew I'd sleep in sorrow
and awake to keep on walking.
I'd only have the memory
of reflections in the water,
to play reflections of mock hope.
Author notes
This was actually originally written for a contest. So it is picture based, but it's also true to my real life. http://wywiur.deviantart.com/art/Dark-way-into-the-light-26099601
After I was done, I remember that the contest was a dark write contest. Thus, I decided to re-write. But I didn't want to rid myself of this one. So, here it is.
I don't feel like explaining it. I'm sure you'll understand. If not, enjoy the story.
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh interesting. You wrote this in a very personal tone. (Something I practically never do) 'divulged' was a good word choice. I would suggest a couple of things. You have a tendency to put more than you need in a line. For example "I began to notice something" could just be "I noticed something." More compact, more precise. You have some good stuff here, it is just fluffed a bit, taking away from its impact. But generally, I liked this.
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All explanation is unnecessary...this poem speaks for itself, in all its truth and beauty.
You truly do paint an accurate picture of sorrow, of mental pain and suffering...and what it's like to try to get out of it.
Excellent. Keep up your great works of art! ^.^
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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I thought so too.
Thanks.
I shall, although I wouldn't call them great works of art yet.
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...They're close enough. ^.^
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Eh, not really. But thanks anyway. ^.^
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Well, of course not to you. You're the author!
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I suppose the writer is it's greatest critic.
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Always. That goes in the quote book!
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Yep. Yay!! I made the quote book.
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