Just another trial, a test to my wishful soul,
Grieving yet never Achieving anything but a lack of control,
More words to damage my so called strong Exterior,
The longing for someone so far gone is inside my interior,
And like an old house, torn and near demolished,
I'm screaming yet nobody hears anything but a whisper so polished,
My voice may stand Bold and fearless, but I'm dying,
Ever since you left the world, everyone's been lying,
Though I am strong, My hope for Life is fading,
You were My strength, My master, My vampire, now my Nothing?
Ever since you were gone everybody sees my weakness,
and the blood lust Is unbearable, life is full of bleakness
My love why did you have to go? Why did The gods take you from me,
I now feel like a Butterfly and i am unable to break free,
With all this turmoil, where is there supposed to be space for hope?
With all these thoughts of suicide and trying the rope,
I can't be without you, I'm Coming to you now,
Cut out my heart which I can't live without, I bet your thinking Wow,
She's so weak but No I'm not, more too sick of life's abuse,
I'm Dying, Dying, dead now, It was Slower then the noose...
Author notes
So i got creative, and this is a poem about a girl and her lover, but her lover dies, and she cant handle life without him so she kills herself to be with him once more,
like a twisted fairytale
A contest entry
- Silence Within Darkness by Deathwolf Tasagka.
1800 points, ended July 24, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I worked hard on this!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Love knows no bounds. So true. But also so very sad. The fact that love will do anything for you. Like they say Love conquers Anything. I don't think that's true anymore. But I felt very in-sync with this poem.
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I liked the middle of this its great. I wish i could write like this :] love, Shelly :)
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You expressed the feelings of a lost one very well, I enjoyed this pice. But it would have been better if you didn't force it into a rhyme.
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awww hun
this is such a deep and emotive write that truly captures the picture and my heart. the tale is heart wrenching and made me feel what the picture and your words display. hope your ok. love you
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Though I am strong, My hope for Life is fading,
You were My strength, My master, My vampire, now my Nothing?
Ever since you were gone everybody sees my weakness,
and the blood lust Is unbearable, life is full of bleakness fantastic full of strong raw emotions and great depth good luck in the contest
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Great wording, images and depth in this!
best wishes in your contest.
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This melodic twisted note, was impressively true entertainment, its malice was raw and grinding and made me smile in menance and my heart shape in its ulgy apperrance, which is truly a hard detailed subject to do. Outstanding. I enjoyed this much, great great write, and the best of luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Deathwolf Tasagka
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very nicely done love....i'll talk to you soon
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WOW I can't fault this piece it's amazin work,
All my7 love
Schizo angel xx
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Great rhymes, wonderful expression, it flowed great and was brutally honest and to the point. All the things i look for in a poem. Excellent job.
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Romeo & juliet! Sorry. >.>
First thing came to mind. xD
Good luck in the contest.
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wow twisted fairytales r one on my favorite kinds of poems/stories!
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Wow.. twisted fairytale?! really?! lol.. who would hav ever thought
you did a really good job hun.. I like this tale that you spun here.. Very vivid and detailed.. Bravo hun.. I wish you the best of luck.
Angel
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