Dripping denial seeps from beneath tainted eyelids
Sweeping down a cheek flushed with passionate fear
A ball of pure envy lies curled within, growing, expanding
Ready to consume its very owner, to posses
Jealousy of everything, unreasonable, unreal
But believable enough for one, heavily burdened
Alone and frightened, by the daily nightmares
Mentally, anxiety destroys confidence
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Comments
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dude that is soooo true...
wounderful write absolutely magnificent...
PEACE&WAR
The -poodle boy-
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this is a nice, tight set of quatrains, a really good format for a short piece such as this, and I agree with aboomer, heads up to line 4 ... also the final words of all eight lines do, in fact, have very very subtle interior rhymes with their respective partners in the other paragraph ... you may or may not have done this one purpose, it is a subtle rhyme technique which adds a tonality the reader does not blatantly feel but which makes the reader wanting to read on and this increases as each line is read, of course, like far away notes, subliminaly heard, and gathering in chorus ..
... also the first line in 2nd stanza is very succinct ... yes, it is jealousy, a lack of personal love for oneself, a wanting and knowing that there is great worth, but being, somehow unconvinced ... anxiety ... a sort of fear of some unseen force or thing and inside you ... but it is only your heart, poet, and it shall find its iron and its flowrs, you will see ... keep writing and pen on well this way always
Moqui
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Great wording with a lot of depth packed into just a few lines! Great images.
I think in line 4, the last word should be 'possess', but I'm not positive...lol
Great write!
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