If

And I look up at the sky,
which begged to rain on me.
I wiped away the black tears,
and closed my eyes.

If how, if why
No reason at all.
No reason to be.
If only I knew.

And I exhaled the smoke in my lungs,
which kept me calm for a minute.
I open my mind and thought,
and smiled from my heart.

If how, if why,
No reason,
No reason to cry.
If only I knew.

And now as final, I honestly know,
I can lay it to rest and remember,
that there is such a thing I seek.
I close my eyes, and dry my tears.

If how, if why,
No reason,
Though reason for this smile,.
If how, if why,
but it caused a cry.

Author notes

Hm....I think Floris and I are gonna work out just fine, as the best of friends...somehow after today, we just had the cuddliest and meaningfull day, and all we did was sat cuddling and talking meaningfully...and thats what I need from him...and thats apparently what he needs from me too...it just...clicked..