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sing me to sleep

He used to sing to me...
I laid in bed as his soft voice lulled me to sleep
It worked each time
But since hes gone from my life, no one sings to me
And I miss it
Sing me a lullaby, tell me you love me even if you have to lie
I want to feel your strong arms around me as I sleep
Kiss me please, I beg you
I cant be left on my own, not anymore
Subside my fears
Sing a song of protecting me, from the monsters in my mind
Those monsters consume me, overwhelm me
Poison to my brain that wants to cause me pain
My heart is torn apart, so can you hold it together in your hands?
Just this one night...
So baby sing me to sleep, I want to fall deep
And dream of you and me, never to wake
Eternal slumber, resting in peace
My heart rests in pieces
Rock me gently, hush my cries
Dry the tears from this reddened face
Lullaby and goodnight

A contest entry

...hmmm ya whtcha think? i dont think this is good at all and its more like bunch of thoughts

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • LoL...no wonder its fammilliar...I've already commented on it before...LoL...sorry.

  • Tskawwww......sad. reminds me of something I wrote, or think about often. Keep up the writes..!


  • upperworld06
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I dont know if its a break up or a loss of a father. I feel more thats its a break up...yea, okay, forget i talked about the father thing lol. good job and good luc


  • Justmenow
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful poet and beautiful wow, i see why you won gold for this brilliant piece, i klnow exactly how it feels, except not a guy, lol, its such an emotive write.
    'Sing me a lullaby, tell me you love me even if you have to lie'


    and

    'I cant be left on my own, not anymore
    Subside my fears
    Sing a song of protecting me, from the monsters in my mind
    Those monsters consume me, overwhelm me
    Poison to my brain that wants to cause me pain
    My heart is torn apart, so can you hold it together in your hands?'

    are by far my favourite bits, really well done

    x

  • know one
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I really like this poem!

    great flow and progression!thanks for entering!


  • L0sT-iN-ThOuGhT
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aww....tear ='(
    Love it though...would be perfect for my story. Keep writin.
    p.s
    thankx 4 ur comment


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oooh...this is divine! Sounds like it should be put to music. I love the longing the comes through your words, the love, the need, the hurt. I especially love the imagery -
    "Those monsters consume me, overwhelm me
    Poison to my brain that wants to cause me pain
    My heart is torn apart, so can you hold it together in your hands?"
    ^^Superb!
    Thanks for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • XNevermindX
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is sad, so so sad, but so beautiful and just awesome!


  • CharcoalScreams
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aw darl.. this is beautiful although its full of pain. I love it =) xx

  • hardeepb
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like this

    It is more a bounch of thoughts than a poem...BUT they flow...really naturally which makes this piece great. So many lines in this touch my heart;

    "My heart is torn apart, so can you hold it together in your hands?
    Just this one night..."

    I know she has it in her hands...and sometimes she wishes she didn't...and I know this 'one night'...maybe it might happen...where we can just sleep...a dream for us both. Nothing is more soothing than the voice of the person you love...I'd kill to hear it...

    Nicely written poem...the content of your mind is all let out here...only thing lacking is the structure; but sometimes you don't care for it because this would be the lines in the most natural of forms. You've touched me yet again. 8/10!


    • Lonely Christina
      July 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yea it is a bunch of thoughts...im glad i could touch u, awww thts sweet. ya i dc bout structure. lol thanks


  • lianna27
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you no it is good so idk why u say it isnt..lol ...i like it...um how it just it kinda just gets put together more as u read idk if im saying this right lol..idk wat im even trying to say...but u did good!

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