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I Once Boasted

 

Content I was-

          Till the dirt inquired,

  

 "Where is your humility?"   

   

   Shocked,

I spat it out,

             crunched the pebbles between my teeth,

      and strained to separate my eyes-

 

 

 mud hardens

 much more than itself.

 

 

 

 

She reminded me,

         a soft whisper

              crept though my membranes,

of frailty,             ("you have failed...")

         oh Lord,

the condition of man! 

Artistry soothed me,

              a strong roar

                   ripped through my membranes,

with truth,    ("YOU ARE LOVED...")

              oh Lord,

the condition of You, Love. 

     

    

(silence ensued,

 ensnared my consciousness. 

then saddness.

then

  a strange hope.     ) 

                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Love,

thank you

for reminding me

humility

is only

one

heartbreak

away-

 

That's a blessed hope

I could never let go.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

(original, alternate ending, as per contest rules)

As the dust settled,

slowly I realized

to my feet I must go

should anyone learn

should anyone know

that though the ground beckons

though the ground lows

for your body immediate

for your body's glow,

death is no finale,

death deals no blows

that Love cannot suffice,

that Love cannot overthrow.



Be true, Christian warrior;

Be kind, be right.



Be weary you tread through mud,


Be weary you tread through night.





Take peace you have eternal light.


Take peace you have His blood.

A contest entry

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Comments

  • Nicole Hanna
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice! I like both versions, though I think I'm partial to the one with the piece (not the one in the notes). One more religiously inclined, and one more romantically inclined (or that's how I read the differences). You play with spacing and line breaks very nicely, and it's always something I envy in others, because I'm horrible at it. As such, there's nothing much I can say, critically speaking on your form.

    The "mud hardens much more than itself" line totally did it for me! I swear, you can have a great poem just with that. Great stuff


  • BellaD
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. Original and creative. I always find parentheses in poetry distracting, but that's just a matter of taste. I love how this poem speaks of persevering through life's trials and emerging victorious because "you have eternal light.
    Take peace you have His blood."


    Nicely done and thank you for your entry.