i do not know many things
like another language
morse-code
or how to sleep at night
without someone else
my body knows however
when i lie to it
when i say i am not hungry
after hearing it growl
again
my cat knows too
when i lie and say
i will get your litter tomorrow
she never waits at the door
anymore
for me
no body does
no body can cure what ails me
nowadays
i guess the best i can hope
is that sleep will come back
i will finally make it to the grocery store
and one day my cat might wait for me
again
Author notes
unique and good... hmmm.. this is what i got...
In a list
A contest entry
- Uncommon Words for a Common Picture PIF by reeseXtheXsoldier.
600 points, ended July 10, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
this makes me feel sad.
especially the cat part.
its such a personal thing. the cat. it makes this real.
ilike.
-
You've taken a unique, personalized approach to something that is common among people and that makes this a really good poem
It is our individuality that allows the same old to be expressed differently, I think.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
-
Highly unique. There is this disallusionment with life that's found in your poem, that you just wish things could be better and that you wouldn't have to lie to yourself and tell yourself that somedays things would be better. Great poem with a meaning a lot of us can relate to. Now go clean out your cat's litter box before it starts to get really angry, lol!
-
I see why you won bronze.Should have won gold though.There is no mistake in the feeling of feeling hungary and not being able to take care of something that you love.This is truely a sad write.You write extremely well.If I were to revise it I might mentin the look in the cats eyes when he looks over at me and how angry I am at lifes sitiuation that I am in.just a thought.I do not feel there were any awkward areas and the flow went great.Glad that I got to read this.
-
i can definitely agree with unique and good, a unique way of writing, and a unique kind of story, and good because it was well written and painted a picture of life, great job
-
he he this is cute...Its got quite a random and scattered feeling to it and that seems to be an accurate reflection of what you're writing about in the poem. Nice work.
-
wow, this is so interesting. it flows from every topic beautifully. i love how you could turn so many simple things into such a serious poem. i really like this.well done!
-
i thought this was amaing.
i have been here before trust me.
i still am.
'i guess the best i can hope
is that sleep will come back"
that got to me
because that is how i feel alot.
so i must say this was very good. -
Humm..the uncertainity around the words brings the depth to the notes of the poetry and its around..wonderful job done...
-
loved it
Heart breaking
beautiful
honest
familiar
-
Interesting take on the prompt! I asked for unique and you gave it to me! Bravo and to the finals with you!
Write on, dude! You're a hella good writer! You rock!
Thank you for posting this wonderful piece! And you had better keep up that killer writing!
The Famous Reese Bailey
-
-
thank you muchly
this literally was off the top of my head and what was on my mind... you said unique and i thought to myself. hmmm thats my brain.... haha.. so i am glad you enjoyed and if you have time you should check out some of my other stuff...
-
-
Wow. This is truly amazing. I think this is the best piece I have read of yours. It has everything I love about your style: simplicity, accessibility, but a depth and beauty that demands some lingering on what just happened.
great work,
-Grant
-
-
thankyou thankyou thankyou
smiles!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
