A priest was strolling in a glorious
Garden next to a church cemetery.
Deep into daily prayers his serious
Reflection had ceased funereally.
From behind a blackberry bush a man
In agonizing pain pled for his help.
Bloodied, near death he desperately scanned
This holy face and said, “you and me dwelt
In the same house for many, many years
Together. Please tend to my wounds. I must
Not die else many things will disappear
With me.” Sir! You think you know me I trust
But I don’t recognize you, in good faith.
“That’s of no consequence, we are soul mates.”
Sir, I do not understand. What’s your name?
“ First, look into my eyes, what do you see?”
The priest peered into them. I see ill fame.
“Correct! What else?” To a higher degree
I see treachery, deceit and falsehood.
“ True! I am their inspiration, each sin.
I represent all that is deemed not good
The name I go by today is Satan.”
What! Prince of darkness, the living devil?
The infamous enemy of my god?
“The one and only my dear friend, evil
Incarnate. This face is just a facade.”
I’ll not treat your wounds that would ease the pain.
Oh, but you must holy man. I’ll explain.”
“That church and altar, your Sunday sermons
Were built, celebrated and orated
Because of me. Every man and woman
On this earth that was ever created
Knows and fears me due to people like you.
Their lives were and are shaped by your design.
If I die, sin will also perish. Who
Would have need of your shrines
If I did not exist? Now look beyond
Your purpose for living poor holy man.
Do you wish to sever the unique bond
Between you and me, abandon humans
Or treat my wounds so that I may still thrive?”
Dejected he chose keeping him alive.
A contest entry
- Want some points? Philosophy, God, whatever you want... by magneticblue.
1400 points, ended July 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like this piece, so I'm going to be rather harsher than usual in my criticism. One, the lack of correct quotation marks made reading this MUCH more confusing than necessary. Two, the ending was rather rough. You put great detail in to the majority of this, the explanations of who satan is, the dialogue between the priest and satan, but you ended the piece in one sentence...a little to abrupt. Also just the overall punctuation could use some work. This is a great piece though and I think it definitely has potential. I'd also like a little more explanation in your author notes if you wouldn't mind. Great piece, you should do well in this contest.
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I purposely omitted quotation marks from the Priests monologue thinking it would be easier for the reciter to determine who was speaking. Obviously I was wrong.
As you probably already figured out, the three parts of the poem are individual Shakespearian sonnets: Deca-syllabic and rhyme scheme. following these disciplines forces the poet to be somewhat restricted in what he can do.
In the case of the ending, in order for me to clarify this final part it would have extended beyond the limitations required and consequently I would have had to add another sonnet to deal with, without enough body to finalize it.
To me I thought it was clear enough:
Verses twenty-nine through forty-one began Satan's long discourse on why the priest must keep him alive.
He begins by telling the priest that his church and sermons and all the places of worship on earth were erected because of his presence and his infamous reputation past and present was created by people like himself. And that the lives of all these people were shaped by the few who occupy these positions of power.
Satan goes on to say that if the priest allows him to die all sin will perish with him. And if that were to happen there would be no use for the churches and shrines.
He continues to say, look beyond your life’s calling. Can you afford to sever the ties between we two? That he and those like himself would lose everything (the comforts, influence, power and position that humanity has given to him and others.
Or retain the status quo by keeping him alive.
Verse forty-two we find the priest breaking the tenth commandment by choosing to keep the devil alive. Mans second fall from grace.
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