You want to throw something at the sun
for being so punctual
and here you are, rumpled on the bed
awake again and still alone
and all those dreams tumbled back
under the blankets where your hand
rests on your sex, bored with the thought
of even trying for a feeling
the whole thing about being alive
just makes you sick today
and you want to call a stranger
and masturbate while talking to them
about the weather or the price of fuel
or the war but the battery in your phone
has been dead for days and the cats
need feeding and you haven’t shaved your legs
for so long it’s going to take hours
or a wax job that you can’t afford
and the thought of shopping in the Mall
makes you pull the blankets up
and go back to sleep.
A contest entry
- Notice the unnoticed by Dienush.
900 points, ended July 18, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I love this:
"You want to throw something at the sun
for being so punctual"
And this:
"your hand
rests on your sex, bored with the thought
of even trying for a feeling"
It's blackly funny, witty and ironic. Definitely amongst your better pieces of those I've read so far.
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awesome stuff!
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Oh my this does speak volumes about the frustration. I like the use of detail in the bit about the dead battery and the hungry cats. Oh, and I must say, the first two lines were a very good image, the kind of thing that pushed me to read more. I think that in the bit about talking to a stranger and masturbating you really showed the randomness in it. I like this, and honestly I didn't expect to like an adult poem in this contest
The only thing I don't really like is the title. It's a bit to common and, while I see how that would go with the message of this poem, it just feels a bit ordinary to me. Thanks for the entry
~Diana
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Very depressing... but also a very real and honest insight into the human condition. Excellent!
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Thanks for commenting.
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Hehe, Last Wednesday. Hahaha, great poem, I love it!!
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ahhhh! this is horrid, poor person...wow, but a great descriptive write about some peoples lifes
take care and good luck
stephanie
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i like this poem eventhough it's depressing, because i can relate to it.... somedays it's unknown what life will bring.... bad news... good news... who knew? ... that's why we wake up and say "i hate mornings" while sipping on that 3rd cup of coffee.... depressing yet purely honest... and i love it. Amazing poetry... would definitely get gold in an up-comming contest i have in mind
. Rewarded 8
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Amusing
What a true assessment of so many days. Good work. Pen on...
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