Motherly Love

After considerable meditation; I found it just wasn’t fair
To think I could have; with my own, what I had with my mom,
For what we had, was so rare.

My conclusions rest that I’ll never have; with my girls,
What my mother had with me.
For I’m not the woman my mother was, not even half; as she.

Though I remember I treated her much like my own have acted toward me
Wiping the watery tears from my eyes; has opened them, so I can see

That I’ve been selfish to want from them; what I shared so long ago
With a woman that gave such motherly love, that it could boost any ego.

Not that that’s what I looked for to share; when yearning for my own offspring
Actually I’m not sure what it was I was looking for, or knew what their closeness may bring.

I only wanted to give them what my mother had so freely given me.
But I realize I’m the one who wanted or needed “a mother’s company.”

My girls are self sufficient; having friends that fill each void.
Now I find I’ll have to come to grips; that in their presence, they get annoyed.

I’m glad that they don’t need me; as I once hoped that they would do
For it makes it easier for me to leave, when my life; here on earth, is through.

I find I’m missing my mom more and more, as age rises like a flood
And covers my lifeless body; in death, to the grave; with sod & mud.

Now I welcome the thought of leaving, for I can share her company
And I realize it’s not my girls at all; it’s my own loneliness’, taunting me.

For I long for the love of my own mother that no daughter of mine could fill
And know they could never fill those shoes no matter of what talent or skill.

It’s sad though that they do not yearn; for what my mother and I did share
But my daughter’s have friends they care for more, so why would they even care?

I wish we’d had had a chance to bond; as I had a bond with mine
But though they don’t care to experience it, I know they’ll be just fine.

You see I know I’m really blessed, as I almost missed it too,
But lucky enough to grasp it in time, before her life here was through.

Oh I had my own resentments; that tired to interfere
And it almost made me loose; what today, I hold so dear.

Even though I miss her more than any mere words can convey
I know we’ll be together again one sweet & glorious day.

And I know if she were here right now I’d have to make an amend
For even though I've been a daughter to her; I’ve not been much a friend.

What belonged only to us I’ve tried to share with mine;
But today; if I could go to her, I’d gladly leave mine behind

I’d gladly say it is the truth; and wasn’t the right thing to do
And hope to put smiles on her face; for I’d not want to see her blue.

So I send up my earnest apologies to the one that deserves the most
And I raise my glass to you; once more, for it’s you, that I give my toast.

I toast you for being a mother, one that taught me the best you could.
Giving me more than I deserved and whatever else you could

Your motherly love was never ending and that’s a treasure rare.
And it’s that love that you so freely gave me, that’s the love I wanted to share.