The task was complex
Apartment complex
All the trees were in need
Of a fair minded referee
In the struggle for light and space
The need to respect established homes encroached
I started at the gateway
The trees that say, "hello!"
Twitched up skirts to show shapely limbs
Snipped back ends reaching into
Windows, walls, walkways
Far to the rear I found a friend
Double minded tree, too earthy for its own good
It picked two paths, one low to the trail
A second, confused ran into a wall three stories high
A third twisted between the two
One tree pulled three ways
I should have passed to apprentice
Secluded from view on jogging path
Mistakes wouldn't so much show
But it needed me...
Fought me as I began
tearing skin, holding on to things
Best let go,
Arguing it had done no wrong
Pulling away debris, I gave it time to trust
Made small cuts, small cuts easy to heal
slowly reveal the beauty and character
Adversity had hidden
Showed it a truer path
It had forgotten how to take
Smoothed bulges of excess
The jogger passing by
will find it pleasing to the eye
But from the highway on the hill
I'll see a deeper beauty still
Apartment complex
All the trees were in need
Of a fair minded referee
In the struggle for light and space
The need to respect established homes encroached
I started at the gateway
The trees that say, "hello!"
Twitched up skirts to show shapely limbs
Snipped back ends reaching into
Windows, walls, walkways
Far to the rear I found a friend
Double minded tree, too earthy for its own good
It picked two paths, one low to the trail
A second, confused ran into a wall three stories high
A third twisted between the two
One tree pulled three ways
I should have passed to apprentice
Secluded from view on jogging path
Mistakes wouldn't so much show
But it needed me...
Fought me as I began
tearing skin, holding on to things
Best let go,
Arguing it had done no wrong
Pulling away debris, I gave it time to trust
Made small cuts, small cuts easy to heal
slowly reveal the beauty and character
Adversity had hidden
Showed it a truer path
It had forgotten how to take
Smoothed bulges of excess
The jogger passing by
will find it pleasing to the eye
But from the highway on the hill
I'll see a deeper beauty still
Author notes
4. A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?
Kahlil Gibran
In a list
A contest entry
- Gibran Khalil Gibran ~ by Amarige.
800 points, ended July 27, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Beautiful
A beautiful write here, freind that I was able to
journey along with.
I have to agree with Cannon's Fire in terms of the word 'Still' though it does not take away from the piece.
Lilly


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I did a double couplet thing to signify the end. I was trying to show the distant connection required for the contest in those four lines.
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very beautiful ...
I am always reluctant to cut branches, flowers etc ...
yet I am aware that the small temporary hurt may permit more vivid growth and increased strength ...
like in our own minds, pruning the branches of distraction that sap our energy, concentration and focus is gained ...
thank you
marion

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I see this as work on soul, my friend. derfinitely an anaolgy for methere. the hand that prunes..oh yes, ....we are in charge of cleaning up some of those things within us, so what is overlooked from afar and seen as beauty..is more than skin deep. wonderful penning.


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Very powerful and lovely write..I love the quote you picked. Best of luck in the contest

Ruby

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It is lovely, my one crit is the last line, I don't think you need 'still' I think it is stronger without that word at the end. We know from the stanza it is still there. Just my opinion. It is a strong write.


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I see this is for a contest and I will overlook that part. Yopu are the only person on this site of thousands who could actually compose this piece. That kinda makes you the judge and jury on it. For me I sit and wonder what I could compose that would do the same justice. There is nothing as I am the criminal in every breath I take. You on the other hand have the opportunity to touch the world and you have touched mine. RC


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I guess I left you speachless...
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No internet at home, Ben~Jammin'. No time at work except to just check in. So, yeahhh.
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1 - 10 of 10








