The ocean is kissing her youngsters goodnight
Whispering through inlets and rivers and streams
She is tucking her youngsters in bed
Enveloping with deep blue sheets the ivory grain beaches.
She is cradling her babies in foam-tipped arms,
Sleeping birds and sleeping boats and drifters.
She murmurs to them lullabies of dark and light
Through the shadowed depths and hidden abysses.
She is weeping for her sunken lodgers
Boats whose bellies have long since grazed her sandy lap.
She is silent for her calling guests
New ships whose hulls will fly across her lengths.
The ocean is searching for her caller
The saffron moon, awakened from slumber, radiant with energy
To shine on her with watery gold
That she may introduce her children to the day.
A contest entry
- Prewrites by youhadme-athello..
300 points, ended August 10, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - C by Living-Out-Loud.
800 points, ended August 23, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This time I'm going to WIN!!! by darlintlc.
900 points, ended August 30, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need Favorites ^___^ by edit my world..
555 points, ended September 3, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Personification ! Come One ! Come All ! by Anu-Nataraj.
450 points, ended October 20, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please say what you think, and be honest. What should I change, and how should I change it?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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IMPRESSIVE WRITE POET !!!!!
"The saffron moon"
loveedddd thhatt!!!!!
GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST !!
Anagha-Nataraj
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You did a wonderful job with this piece!
favorite lines:
"The ocean is kissing her youngsters goodnight"
"She is cradling her babies in foam-tipped arms"
You have a great talent...keep writing!
Thanks for entering
darlintlc
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This is a wonderful metaphor of the ocean and it's calming effect it has on those who live on her and surround her. I love it! Makes me think of a book I've read, but can't remeber the name. Imagery is exellent as well. For one so young you've got superb talent and I've only read two so far. Can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing. UNT
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Great write, thanks for entering!
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Wow! All I can say is that! I read through this, enjoying the personification that I don't read as much on here as I would like, and then I noticed that you're only 11, and dude, you are really, really, good! The subject and the depth at which you wrote this portrays to me your higher level of maturity, and I appreciate the subject, not only because I adore the sea as well as personification but also because this isn't what people around our ages usually write. I enjoyed this very much, and look forward to reading more of your work! Great job!
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Yeah, I think personification is cool. Thanks so much for your encouragement and everything! Actually, I'm turning eleven on the thirtieth.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Wow, this is really good. The meaning in these words, to me, is much deeper than what you see at first read. I think you did a great job on it. Only one thing I see.... you have the ships hulks and I think it should be hulls.
Welcome to AP. If you have any qustions or need help with anything, feel free to IM me.
Keep expressing through writing.
Storm
Site Greeter -
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Thanks, I was thinking it sounded a bit strange.. I'll edit that.
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