in the [shade], it feels like 103.
I’m wearing that faded [cotton] dress
you liked so much on me.
A [glass] filled with water
stands by your [photograph].
[Wilted] [violets] [listen]
to your echoing laugh.
[Arrows] of [golden] light pierce
the [corner] of the field
where broken heart scabs
were [striped] off then healed.
The [strawberries] are ripe
I picked some for you
and put them in my [woven] basket
still fresh with the morning dew.
My [calendar] says it’s fall now
with skies so blue
I [painted] a [scene] today
of me and you.
The [chestnut] tree
makes a rustling [sounds]
as [chocolate] colored branches
drop leaves to the ground.
School’s in [session]
the [classroom] becomes alive.
Something’s different this year
we’re down to five.
We opened our fireplace
last [Wednesday] afternoon
the warmth of the fire [burning]
filled the whole room.
Winter has arrived
with its [popular] sleigh rides
but without you here to hold me
I’d rather stay inside.
I pull out the [album]
off its [wooden] [cabinet]
turn the [folded] pages
and reminisce about how we met.
There’s a picture of us playing [tennis]
another on the way to the [theater].
Looking at your face right now
I can almost think you’re here.
There you are in your [navy] uniform
your [doctor] badge in sight.
How were we to know that you
would be the one to go off and fight.
My imagination runs away
As I see the battle field
Your [sacrificial] bravery
Can no longer be concealed.
I somehow imagine the worst
My deepest fears coming true
I worry and pray constantly
Over what might happen to you.
Someone [addresses] me
and [interrupts] my thoughts
Just as the [bullet] left the gun
and you were about to be shot.
They ask me to come outside
and play out in the snow.
The pleading in their eyes
would [never] let me say no.
I slide the album back
to its old [location]
remembering that you left
to help defend our nation.
I awaken one night to hear
[aluminum] tings of rain
But the gray skies became [cerulean]
easing up the pain.
I step outside
to a chorus of bird’s song
The whole world fresh and new
after waiting for so long.
The wildflowers dance
in the cool spring breeze
everything is real, not [artificial]
as I grab my keys.
I get in my beat up truck
today I’m a [damsel] with a dented [bumper]
I drive to the [overpass] to the [general] store
in my sister’s old blue jumper.
Today is a day for taking [chances]
I can feel you here with me
No matter where you are, you’ll be in my heart
forever running free.
Author notes
OK, so i used all the words except 'lemonade' and 'custom'. i just couldn't get them in....but here is the list of what i did use.
golden, arrow, cotton, cerulean, folded, summer, glass, violet, bumper, Wednesday, chances, scene, photograph, wilted, aluminum, sounds, shade, damsel, strawberry, address, calender, interrupt, listen, paint, bullet, never, chocolate, tennis, navy, album, become, location, corner, chestnut, overpass, theater, doctor, classroom, session, cabinet, sacrificial, popular, general, striped, wooden, burn, woven, artificial.
A contest entry
- word bank by Porcelain Princess.
300 points, ended July 25, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Wow
Very good.
-
this is a wonderful story through the seasons of waiting for someone you love... *wipe tear*...
'A [glass] filled with water
stands by your [photograph].
[Wilted] [violets] [listen]
to your echoing laugh.'
i really liked that stanza... maybe because i have a friend that i have a pic of and a small vase that holds a flower beside it... that image was really strong. it is amazing how many words you have used from the word bank without the reader ever knowing you wrote with one... well, other than they are in brackets... haha.
the transition between seasons could be a bit smoother, but i can't think of how to do that right now without detracting from your poem.
loved the storyline and the imagery you used through out... hope this does well for you in the contest.


-
-
thanks so much for the awesome and helpful comment.
-
-
haha... i just really laughed at that comment from blue skies and pain... made my night... especially that he used his clappies before the poem was even posted.. haha.. sorry.. i just thought that was funny. i WILL be back.
-
wow... no poem and this already has more views than any of mine.... thats funny...


-
-
well... some people have discovered and just are not passing the word of a great poet around enough... something needs to be done about that... hmmmm... *thinking cap*
-
well thats just because people haven't discovered how brilliant you are...
-




