Somewhere far away.
Far, far away.
Sits a golden rose.
No one adventures for the golden rose.
As no one knows about it.
It just sits.
And waits.
And grows.
Day by day, time goes by.
The golden rose reaches it's wits end.
It dies.
And no one knows.
A contest entry
- prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
450 points, ended July 16, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 137 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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SAD! This is saddening, amazing, and holy moly.....AMAZING! I really like the last line. Something so beautiful, so breath taking, and no one does anything with it. *sighs* this is beautiful.
Warmest,
Mylee -
The repetition in this totally throws the piece - 'far' three times in the first two lines is too much.
Then you have 'no one' on the next two lines and again at the end.
For shorter pieces I feel the words all need to be distinct and strong, each having its own purpose (and without repetition) -
wow that is incredible, great work, and very deep
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oh la la. this is talented. like it , a lot !
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hmmm, interesting, mate. well done. i like it, wonder what inspired you....?
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Hah..
A seventh grade poetry assignment inspired me, to be completely honest.
It literally took me around a minute if I remember correctly.
I didn't realize that it was legitimately good until years later.. this one kind of kicked off my liking for poetry.
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as i read this i am picturing a person with an existence so departed from onlookers that they are here and then not...
"The golden rose reaches it's wits end.
It dies.
And no one knows."
~ a sad commentary, but well written.
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