milky brown
perception blurred
because i cannot see past
your eyes
all the falling through every hole
you brought me somewhere i felt i could
breathe again
breathe again
breath
again
in me
there are no
if's and's or but's
this time
stopping to envision
your hand in mine
please take it
please take it,
love
A contest entry
- a bird falls into the sea by hilly.
1000 points, ended July 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I disagree with the comment below, I think this is deep. Leaves it more the reader to go deeper, but it certainly allows your mind to explore different areas. And I think as a reader we get deeper in your mind. I think the repetition of breathe was fantastic.
<3
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i think it's a simple idea, presented well. relatable, but on a surface level. i generally want something deeper than that, but thank you for entering.
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