Imagine I'll never have to fall again;
Never have to crumble into the earth again.
Because people always seem to forget to catch me.
Even when they promise to.
But I forgive them for forgetting;
Forgive and forget
And people always leave.
Even when they promise they never will.
But 'promise' is just another dried up word
Like 'trust' and 'love'-
They're used too much.
With meanings lost
So I'll just wait up here
For someone to finally catch me.
But this time, they'll be too late.
So I'll just wait up here.
Hanging.
From a ceiling fan.
Author notes
Thanks to writingdelight for helping me out so much on this piece!
option 1, all time low, 23 poems, age 15, I LOVE POETRY
A contest entry
- Best Poem You Have Ever Written by Cherokee.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide Notes by XXxXBassMeisterxXxX.
450 points, ended August 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imaginary by know one.
750 points, ended August 29, 2008, 109 entries
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1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
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Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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wow, really good, kinda cold flow, ending suprised me alot! but overall i really like this poem... But 'promise' is just another dried up word
Like 'trust' and 'love'-... favorite line -
Stunning.
I just love you more and more every day hun!(:
haha(:
Keep up the excellent work!(;
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Awesome
I spent 30 minutes looking for a poem that i really liked on this site. Most of them were fantasy type poems...not relatable to me...then i found this one. It's a shame that some people just don't "get it". Why don't, or can't they realize that the promises they make hold such an impact on anothers heart and soul, that when that promise is broken...so is anothers heart. I think that "friends" and "love" are the two most abused words in the english language...sad!! BUT with that being said, i like the ending..made me giggle, and that's always a good thing....laughter! Keep up the good work..Thanks for sharing!!
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i didn't see this till now
or i commented before and forgot about it
but wow very powerful
and im sorry you feel this way
<3 -
Amazing
Wow. I loved the emotion in this. It was really powerful. Great job! -
this poem is so good its kinda what i feel at times i could really relate to it great job!!!!
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thank you! :]
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I especially like the ending to this, very neat imagery. A great read. Thanks for entering and good luck
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"Because people always seem to forget to catch me."
Wow... Your growing at the rate of knots... This really is great stuff hey...
Just the last line? maybe a bit peculiar? lol anyways nice stuff
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thank you!
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wow
well written,I think you wrote the emotions in perfectly,thanks for entering! -
this is a great poem and you are a very talented wrighterand its so true i totaly know how you feel
keep up the good work
with love and luck
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loved it!
it was very dark, specially the last few lines.. -
beautiful write. I liked the last stanza So I'll just wait up here.
Hanging.
From a ceiling fan.
It was just so powerfullly convictive i loved it. Just great write. I dont really know what else to say but great write so i think that i will just shut up now and leave it at great write
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I like this poem a lot. It has a little teenage angst feel to it, but not overly so where it would be considered "emo" It's definitely got emotion and class. It was written very nice and smoothly. I currently find myself somewhat in this position. After a few heartbreaks you just want to say eff it huh?
Kudos for you x
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Thank you very much! I hope things work out for you though, I know how you feel.
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A wonderful creative piece
Dark and lost in thought
Each stanza flows so well
Best wishes to you and thank you for your entry
Julie -
I love the title you gave this poem. It fits it perfectally and the imagery is awesome. Thank you for posting.
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thanks :]
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-flow ( 6/10 )
-subject ( 7/10 )
-fitting title ( 4/5 )
-word choice ( 3/5 )
-originality ( 5.5/10 )
-spelling and grammar ( 5/5 )
-how much I like it, basically. ( 3/5 )
Total - 33.5/50 OU 67%
This was okay. I stumbled a lot, reading it. But kudos on the last line, very jarring. -
wicked
i like it a lot. it reminds me of a song that i wrote... all in all great song. good luck in the contest!
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Thank you !
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yay! i love ti when they follow the rules! thanks for that. Will comment for reals later. i'm just looking at the AN for now
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I love it and I love the last line =]
Anonymousxo -
OMGsh, the last three lines send a chill down the spine. such a powerful piece. and i agree, "trust" and "love" are highly overused.
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OH MY!
I don't think it needs changed at all. It has a very powerful message about the way we often times treat each other. I am glad I took the time to read this. You wrote a thought provoking piece. Thank you for sharing with us.
~mandie~
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I really like this I love the last 3 lines...the pack quite a punch. I think 'sorry' is another one of those words that is used too much. Too many people use it and aren't really 'sorry'...anyways
I'll quit my ramble and congatulate you on a great write. I look forward to reading more from you. Good luck in this contest
~Jillybean128 -
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Thank you :]
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Oooh. I like the ambiguity of the last verse. I interpreted it in two ways:
Interpretation 1: humorous, with just a tinge of sadness. A tone of exasperated fondness and an elaboration on the theme that people are flawed. Hanging from the ceiling fan in this case would indicate a short drop, letting go of reliance on others and standing on your own feet.
Interpretation 2: Dark. "Hanging" in the sense of suicide. Tiring of having no one to rely on and the pressures of trying to do everything yourself.
Either way, the poem is good for me. ^_~
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Thank you very much! :] I never thought of it as the first interpretation, but its true.
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Barely Hanging On
Imagine if I never fall,
never crumble into the earth again.
People sometimes forget to catch me.
Empty promises now broken.
But I forgive them for forgetting,
forgive and forget.
Eventually, people always leave.
Even when they promise they won't.
But 'promise' is just another dried up word
Like "trust" and "love"-
Used too much,
and filled with lost meanings.
So I'll just wait up here.
For someone to finally catch me.
Hopefully, they are not too late,
as I wait
Up here.
Hanging.
From a ceiling fan.
Overall, I liked this, just think it needs some fine tuning. Above is another way of presenting it. Feel free to delete after you see what I meant, I only mean this is a good way, feel free to ignore if advice not wanted, too.
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Wow! Thank you so much for you help! Do you mind if I use some of your ideas and credit you of course?
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wow, you know you should read the AP author JenP- your write exactly like her. I personally love this and can not offer any criticisms. I love this type of poetry though I have yet to define it. Anyway, I am puttin you in my group as one of those must read obscure poets.
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Wow. Thank you so much! I will definitely check her out, too!
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beautifully said...sometimes we expect too much from people but trust and love..they should come naturally..and then it's hard to find when someone really cares.
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