I don’t care what you’ve done to me,
It can’t stop me from what I want to be.
Sure I may have nightmares, scars, and fears,
But there’s more to me than it would appear.
If you thought you could bring me down
You’re really the dumbest jerks around.
I’m earning back my self-esteem
And I’m strong enough to follow my dreams.
Valedictorian, that’s right:
My first choice college on a full ride.
Drum Major, Editor in Chief, among other honors,
And I bet you all thought I was a goner.
I don’t care how hard you struck me,
Or if you ever come back to fuck me.
You’re dirt, you’re slime, you’re nothing at all;
In spite of you three I still stand tall.
I’m more than just a survivor of rape,
My life means more than an attempt to escape.
Yes, my past is part of who I am
But if it's all, then I’ll be damned.
Author notes
sorry for the profanity... I don't usually actually say or use the "f" word but it worked and I think it put a little more emotion/emphasis there. idk. maybe I'll take that out at some point.
Option 3, and ummm... "Monkey Brains"?
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken."
A contest entry
- For The Nights I Cant Remember by etoile.
425 points, ended July 10, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OptionsOptionsPleaseEnter [PW] by stargazer..
800 points, ended July 20, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just about anything by my1lovewearsdiapers.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 46 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nightwishes for Evanescence and Lacuna Coil by ShadedRequiem.
450 points, ended July 22, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 2008, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Controlled Vomiting: Can you puke beautifully? by onerios13.
1400 points, ended August 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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I definitely feel "you" in this piece. One of the problems I have is the word "stupidest" which actually isn't a word.
And I don't have any problem with the use of profanity. In this instance, you're right... it worked. It added emphasis in the right spot and wasn't just for shock value. Thanks for entering. I could feel the intensity of this one -
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I could change that word if you want me to... I've actually been in almost-heated discussions with some of my friends who have maintained for years that "funner, funnest" and "stupider, stupidest" are real words. I've actually been proven wrong now; several dictionaries currently include these as correct. While I used to consider such leniencies in lexicography as disgusting manifestations of a language's degraded system of grammar, I have to admit that I do sometimes say them myself. To be sure, the words are not to be used in academic or formal writing, but in a purposefully raw and informally-voiced poem like this I feel it is no less appropriate than the profanity. If you don't agree I really don't have a problem with changing it
I'm grateful for the second chance in the contest. Thank you, and thanks for the comments and hosting the contest.
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I suppose you have a point. It reminds me a bit of ebonics, or even slang, with which dictionaries now come regularly equipped. I always find it disheartening. Personally for me, since I'm the one supporting the "controlled" in the title of the contest (and onerios the "vomit" lol), I'd prefer to see "most stupid" or something along those lines, though it's really a small thing. The trick, I guess, is to keep the raw emotions while still using refined and clean verbiage. No need to edit it, though. I don't think any entry will be completely "clean" or "refined". I'm glad to have given you another opportunity to submit something else
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All right, I changed it. I think you're right. Well, thanks again!
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WHOA!! YOu set off sparks with this one. Powerful words indeed. I could feel the emotion behind your words. Very well written. *rose* -Mandi
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Sorry for the late reply, and thank you for your kind comment. I'm really glad that you felt it was powerful; that was definitely the main goal with this one. Thanks again!
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This is a very good write. It's full of emotion. Youportrayed your strength very well. The rhyme was great and the flow was spot on. Great write. Alyssa
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Thanks! It means a lot to hear that the strength and emotion came through well, and I'm glad the poem itself was decent too. Thank you for your comment and for hosting the contest!
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I know I do not know you personally but reading this I wanted to reach out and hug you so tight and kiss your cheek as tears swelled in my eyes of pure pride as I felt your strength beating through your words.
I have been a victim of rape and I am still slowly moving on, I'm even married to a wonderful man but sometimes it is hard as flashbacks come but I can only get stronger and you, yes YOU right here have inspired me
MASTERFUL poem!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thank you so much for your kind words; I'm amazed at the support that can be found on this site by compassionate and caring people like you. I'm really sorry that you've gone through this as well, but I'm so happy to hear that you have a wonderful husband who no doubt helps you through those hard moments and flashbacks. Take care and thanks again!
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I absolutely loved it. Don't change anything about this piece the "f" word works beautifully here. This piece is full of emotion and defiance and it stands out very clearly. You did a great job here. Thank you for the entry and the best of luck to you.
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Thank you for the comment and for hosting the contest. I'm very happy to hear that you like it the way it is.
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This was an amazing write and profanity fits it and made it more emotional I was drawn to the line "I’m more than just a survivor of rape,My life means more than an attempt to escape."It's just a really great poem.
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Thank you! I'm glad you feel the diction was appropriate and effective. Thanks for the comment and for hosting this contest!
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sorry, but this has too much underlying hope
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Not bad at all!
Just right to the point! A hard hitting poem about a hard subject! Bluntly put, but if getting mad made you feel better more power to you!
God Bless you!
DeGraw
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Haha it doesn't most of the time but when I do it somehow helps. I think it's good to be mad at them instead of myself from time to time... Thanks for taking a look!
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not enough shit here,the use of expletives/profanity is to make it easier for the author to express base emotions, though you have done a very nice poem here about abuse by peers the impact is softened by your choice of words.
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one thing that kindof confused me as i was reading was whether it was one person or more than one
at times it seemed like you talked about only a single person, but then you said "In spite of you three I still stand tall."
i also usually dont like profanity, but it really did suit this piece very well. made it even more emotional than it already was. i'm happy for you now that you're beginning to move on.
the last stanza really ended the write strongly; it was also my favourite part.
thanks for the entry and goodluck. -
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It's three... the "you" is supposed to be a plural directed at all of them. I don't know how to fix that to make it clearer.
Thank you; sorry for the lack of clarity. I'm glad you like the ending (that's my favorite part too) and thank you for hosting the contest! -
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i just read it again as if it was plural.
it really cleared things up
thanks.
haha and you're welcome
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Oh ok. Thank you!
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wow..
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you liked it!
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Powerful words and message. I too am a victim of rape and wrote a poem to try and purge myself. Just remember, it does not define you. You go on and it gradually leaves only a small scar that rarely hurts. Pen on...
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I'm sorry that you also had to go through this.. I agree, it definitely doesn't define who I am and even though it has become a part of my life and still affects me, I'm more than just what's happened to me. It's so helpful and inspirational to hear from someone who HAS gotten to the point that it "rarely hurts." I have faith that in time I'll be able to get there too. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
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WOW!
This is an amazing poem. It's very optimistic. I like how the rhyming just flows and it seems like you didn't force it.
Great job!!
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Thank you. I'm glad you like it, and the rhyming wasn't forced most of it just came from my head without much thinking; normally I spend hours if not days mulling over the right way to word things, but that didn't really happen for this one so I'm glad it still came out ok. Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Wow, this is a really strong piece, it takes a lot of courage to write about something like this. Way to trample over your fears *hugs* Oh, and the rhyming scheme fit in well, lol.
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Thanks. Writing about it directly like this is definitely hard; it's just as difficult to write about the emotions that are related to it, and aside from having an angry tone this isn't all that deep or emotional.. I don't know. I don't love this one. Thanks though. (My rhyme scheme sort of died though when I resorted to right/ride...) oops! oh well =] Thank you for reading and commenting
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i thought the tone was more collected and thoughtful, straight to the point, giving a sense of closure...
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Oh ok.. that makes sense. well, thanks and I'm glad you liked it
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