It had been ten years.
That was the year of the flood.
You thought it was a shame
I should see the river
that angry with its sides.
The land so broken and swollen.
The sky that unbearably miserable.
We'd just been released from prison.
Remember that one humid night when we
dropped some acid & you threw your
clothes & wallet into the fire?
Tucked your penis between
your legs and said, "I quit."
You were such a show off, like that;
Beautiful, a wretched Midnite.
Troubled, as the harvest that Fall.
We went up into that giant silo.
One starless, godless evening.
In the heart of a stormy July;
Thinking back now...
We are still there.
Author notes
Written January 5th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- i am back!!!! by avendesora.
300 points, ended November 18, 2004, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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if you didn't want a comment on the picture then why the hell did you put it on there?
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You were the idiot in the first place that said, "you didn't like my style" what are you slow? That's what I'm saying you don't have a style, if you did, I would be on your fucking poem, and we'd be talking about your work wouldn't we you tit? Jesus Christ, what is this, your idea of 'flattery' ? First off, your comment said nothing about poetry, style, or anything? It mentioned the picture, where are we at picture.com? What are you stupid?
Edited on Apr 09, 10:49 p.m. because ''. -
You're not very bright are you sweet heart?
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ha, thats kind of funny that it took you three minutes longer to make this comment. Really, your attempt to tell me how i have no taste was a waste... all it really tells me is that you are kind of an idiot. You have to use name calling to attempt to get your point across. You couldn't had just said something like "I don't like your type of style" you had to go and call me names, and all it does is show your imaturity. You may be older than me, but i suggest that you grow up. And if you think I'm going to listen to you, you are sadly mistaken.
Edited on Apr 09, 10:25 p.m. because ''. -
Don't mistake that pedastal I'm standing on for anything other than your face.
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How did you do that? By commenting on something you know absolutely nothing about? You know nothing of 'style' child so stick your thumb in your cunt and excuse yourself? Before I shove your fucking grasp of writing so far up your ass you have to fart in multiple choice notations. You know how distracting it is to have a talentless, fucking lap snorkle like yourself commment on my life, my friends life, his death, my poetry, our time in prison, my history, with a mouthful of fucking nerds and a handful of training bra? Get the fuck out of here you little shit before I choke you to death with a spring scented tampon.
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hey, i tried to be nice about it, and give you my openion, so you need to respect that and stop with your dickhead comments. You're no better than me so lower yourself off that pedestal you seem to be standing on.
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Chromegirl, the day you have style will be a joyous day indeed up until that point keep hacking away, and keep that asshat from blowing off.
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well, the picture was freaking awesome... but the poem wasn't very enjoyable for me. Not that you didn't do a good job... but it just wasn't my style to say the least. Sorry.
Peace and Love,
XOXO SammiJo -
somewhat disturbing image. i live in minn and dont seem to see these things! lol
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I am glad to see you that you won, great poem
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this is beautiful. i relate instinctively with unrecognizeable deep-running emotions. i feel inspired
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Wow! Cool piece, and an awesome demonstration that the unlikely bedfellows of dark, poignant, and humorous can all sleep together... Loved it!
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thanks for entering, this is another strong piece. It has a phrasing and texture that is compelling to read. well done
David -
nice read. liked the ending thinking back now we are still there. the past doesnt exist unless you think about it but it seems so close sometimes. the waterfall is very apt because your words are so flowing. like the way you like to shock by sticking a penis in somewhere or that could just be my parochialism.anyway it sounds sophisticated and brilliant as usual.
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Lovely
I see Powerful Images in this vision - twisted, warped and slightly skewed as if viewed darkly through smoked glass. Love the descriptive phrases - each containing more than the sum of the words.
Very nice.
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