Opiate oppression
dampens dreams,
while wandering
through fields
never meant to be
traversed
This twisted reality
left to roam
endlessly
Author notes
Prompt: Mindfields, 20 words
(if you know me, you know what this is about lol)
In a list
A contest entry
- 20 words on...#3 by notorious.
789 points, ended July 8, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Nice
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strong dark imagery in this sis
i do get it, and within that its quite brilliant itself
Congrats on the shiny gold one
Cind
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Meds aye!! lol
Thanks sis!
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Wow hun! Dark and full of imagery! You have done a fantastic job with this! Congratulations on the Gold!♥
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You truly do have a "poetic voice" of your own and I must say it is enjoyable to read. This is of the best free verse I have read.
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you so much! It really has only been the last year that I even started doing free verse.... now I can't seem to stop!! lol
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Well done, very well done. I cannot write to prompts or set numbers of words. I envy your talent. Congrats on your win.
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My gosh, another gold! You are good.
This is great, so much said in 20 words. Your first two lines begin brilliantly and your last line, endlessly...so sad.
Well done on the gold.
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I found it to have a nightmarish desolate feel. Of course this means I like it alot. I quite like the form and the imagery. Very well expressed. Congratulations on the Gold....
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Damned if you do, damned if you don't... Sounds like a very personal experience... Congrats. on the Gold too!!! It was powerful piece!
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Honestly, I feel no weirdness, but I tend to think if you live the poem, you may feel weird. Now, THAT is weird. heh
Can be taken a few different ways ... a walk through poppy fields with no knowledge of effect ... which I'm sure there are metaphors galore.
Oppression or release ... some may find either relate.
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Opiate oppression dampens dreams,This twisted reality
left to roam endlessly wonderful take on the promt with powerful emotions good luck in the contest
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That I do... This is a very intense piece of thought. Eggshells - but these are like grenades. Great take on the prompt!!!
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oops i meant it'll not it'ss
doh!
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think you expressed yourself awesomely...yes awesomely my great england i really wanna get all deep and meaningful and cum up with sum great things to say but my brain is just not gonna do dat tonyt however i do love it muchly *hi fives*
no doubt it'ss get a shiney
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I felt this one dear Jacks, deep down inside my dear.
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The message in this piece sounds very sad hun. I am guessing the 'opiate oppression' is to do with your health
An amazing piece of writing. Wishing you all the best with this and the future.
Gaylene
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Yes it is hun.. writing about the medications I have to take and their effect often on the mind..
Thanks!
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Beautifully penned, such a strong and powerful piece. I can certainly relate to this. Tho its not just dreams that are dampened, I find all thought is, or could just be my lame brain Superbly penned good luck
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Wonderful imagery presented in each line...love this piece, so excellently worded!
All the best!
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beautifully written auntie
i love you -
"Opiate oppression"
AHAHAHAHA, 'opiate'!! What do you know, it's the first word I see and read.
"dampens dreams"
Like the pseudo-alliterative-ness of it.
"through fields never meant to be traversed"
But somehow, we walk through them...
Love the ending with the word 'endlessly'--gives it a forever feel.
Thanks for entering...by my slight nagging.
Too bad I don't contest entries applause...:/ Forgive me!! -
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Well I'm gonna be on these meds for the rest of me life.. so endlessly it is
This write is weird
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That's not a bad thing!!
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Damn...awesome write!
Well done and good luck!
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