ambitions hurt
without let up in make-believe world
passion for what is not ours
stumble at illusory hurdles
repent then continue
rationalize irrational
burning and cooling fingers
Author notes
Prompt 'The Cry of Mankind'
A contest entry
- Back in NZ Quickie !!! by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended July 8, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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yes! I know that situation so well!
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Sounds like the woes of mankind indeed! Almost like selling our souls to the highest bidder...
Very thought provoking piece!! Excellent
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Great take on the prompt---Very well written--
Well Done & Best of Luck in the contest!!
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Interesting take on the prompt, I love how you took this....
Well done and good luck! -
"make believe world"
Should incorporate a hyphen (-) in between 'make' and 'believe'...
"passion for what is not ours"
Interesting..makes me think of plebeians and poor paupers kissing royalty's ass.
"illusory hurdles"
Nice phrase.
"rationalize irrational"
LoL...I know what you mean, great phrase.
"burning and cooling fingers"
I like this a lot as an ending...good irony and contrast...BUT, I don't think you should use 'burn' in the first line if you're gonna use 'burning'...makes it seem kinda repetitive.
Good luck
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