Purple reeked poison,
spilling shadows behind paradoxes
where enigmas set monotone
on fire,
flaming irritations
by default.
Reliance held scars
in suspension,
entombing lies within folds
that crease souls into
stigmas,
scratching wounds on flaws
where you strip yourself
of me
and I look away.
Author notes
Prompt-ish: Purple Eyes
Piture Credit: Shadows
Also listening to all of "Bullet for my Valentine" quite loudly:
"Is what I've done too much to take, or are you scared of being nothing?"
A contest entry
- Inspired By A Colour by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended September 5, 2008, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I fell off the face of the earth D: by Jasmine Rayne.
1000 points, ended November 2, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Very Quick Quickie!! by Fire-Fly.
600 points, ended April 13, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Now you tell me:
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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strong image here. thanks for entering.
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Very, very good poem. I like your use of language and it flows particularly well.
"scratching wounds on flaws"
this line makes me cringe and is so effective.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. -
Congrats on your silver and you should take a bow after placing among 214 poets; you deserve it! I too love the ending of this piece and the whole piece is written top notch. Congrats again!!!
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Purple's one of my favorite colorrssss hehehe (even though you hate it! :| ) I love the word "paradox", it just sounds so spacey and almost like an underlying evil or something, lol. The ending is totally a smack in the face to anyone who's ever actually experience that type of situation, where there's so much hate and rage and sadness and pity and disgust that you just give up and, well, look away
Or maybe you were just looking for some soap!! XD
Jeanette*~
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beautiful... i love it...
♥
whisper
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Kudos
Cool write. I especially praise the second half.
Best to you,
--------
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That last line is so freaking simple, yet complicated at the same time. It totally gives the finishing touch to this poem, and what a poem it is...
I really like the metaphors you've embedded here, and the imagery is ... stellar!
Shoving this to preliminary list!
Leander -
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Such a strong choice of words here. I could definately feel each and every word and I could feel a rush of purple come over me. I loved the last line as well, so powerful. I know how you can feel that compelling need to turn away, but you can't.
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i liked the ending a lot... very nice
i think "reaked" in L1 is spelled "reeked"
-cassidy
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Splendid.
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wow, so vividly captivating.
great expression of emotion -
I ponder what thoughts must have been running through your mind at these words...a very interesting sortof-prompt to be taken such an interesting way! I adore lines 7 to the end, especially the last three. Well done!
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hanks ... I was just listening to a lot of "Bullet for my Valentine" which is a hardcore band .. so on full volume, it kind of gets to your head
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Ah, yes, from what I have heard of them, I can relate! A very lovely result of hardcore sound!
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Excellent poem well done
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Stanza three is your strongest, it says so much without overdoing it.
I would almost prefer to see this piece begin with your second stanza.
The ending and the smaller font really work well to convey the feeling.
Nicely done -
I think this is capable of breaking hearts.
When I get one - I will let you know.
Cause you got mine
♥
^
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Well ... you're not getting that back for sure
♥
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another nice write, i like your way of writing pics were cool too
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Enigma, stigma, entombing, etc. Really great word choices in this piece! Your tone carries through and ends with a brilliant visual marker of reduced font. You took the prompt to a dark place that vividly beckons at the reader. A superlative accomplishment to be sure!
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oh mY! this is amazing, simply amazing!!
I love it!
I wish you all my best in the contest!!
~
Sailor Ptolema
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This is amazinggg. I loved your use of words and how you portrayed that picture. hah, you've surely got the talent!
"scratching wounds on flaws
where you strip yourself
of me
and I look away."
Favvves Incredible. I loved how you wrote that. It was so unique & powerful. Good luck in the contest ♥
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Thank you
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I love this...you don't do the dirty pretty crap, but your change in font is so effective.
"Purple reaked poison,
spilling shadows behind paradoxes"
Oh wow!! Love the word 'paradoxes' and 'purple' and 'poison' go together so well...probably because they both begin with P.
"where enigmas set monotone
on fire,"
So...monotone becomes more interesting then? Very groovy wording!!
"flaming irritations
by default."
"Flaming irritations" is so accurately described..."by default" is kind of tongue-in-cheek.
"Reliance held scars
in suspension,"
Love this!!
"entombing lies within folds
that crease souls into
stigmas,"
I can see all this folding and creasing take place...'Stigmas' is a WONDERFUL word!!
The don't-look-at-me aspect is felt from the tiny font of the ending. This is a fantastical write...I'd wager you get the Gold cup!!!
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wow .. first of all, damn, you are fast!
second, I think you're flattering me now haha, thanks - but umm ... I feel kind of dumb asking this but what does "tongue in cheek" mean?
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You know...kind of witty in a playful way
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