An eerie red filters through
Window, people, pets & wild things a-like
I haven't seen the sky in weeks
The mountains I was born under
Are coal black with endless stripped trees
Like crucifixes and house-less chimneys still
Holding on -- To something beneath
Three feet of ash and two hundred -
- Years of incinerated pine fodder and brush
The creeks and river I fished as a boy?
Run brown molasses slow.
A fire camp prisoner sits on a boulder
Overlooking the San Gabriel Valley,
And a possible bolt for freedom,
But all would see his get away
Just as all can see this inferno
Racing unhindered towards Big Bear
11,000 firefighters, many of which
Are inmates trained for this kind of war
Hand in hand with freemen, and victims
And those that serve their time? Won't -
- Even be able to become fire-fighters
In the real world, later,
Due to their crimes.
Killers meeting their match
Rapists against a different monster
This fire has no heart
This wind lets it.
Author notes
Written January 5th, 2004
In a list
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1 - 11 of 11
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great poem, h8. even with the quick flow, the centering throws off my read some, but that's a very minor whine when the lines are so well balanced.
great job looking outward and inward, the poem pulls so many things together it is amazing that you can keep them wrapped in their little whirlwind of a poem. but you do.
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LOL... that's good to know! I thought there were fires raging that I hadn't heard about... If I had looked at the date on the poem I may have had a clue, huh?
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Thanks, this all took place in Autumn of 2003.
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The end took me someplace that I really wasn't expecting, and in this case, that is a very good thing. I live in California, but up in the San Joaquin Valley. I don't watch tv, and haven't listened to the news (or read it) recently, so I didn't even know about the fires. You described them vividly, and you put ... humanity into it, with images of orphaned chimneys, etc...
The Santa Ana winds are legendary. I did not realize that they recruited inmates to fight the fires. There is much food for thought here. -
Because, your quote didn't quite make it up to my high standards.
So I thought it would be funnier to watch in illiterate asshat like
yourself run around trying to sound SOOOO SERIOUS, and witty.
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SORRY
What I don't understand is that you could put the quote from the rules in your other peom but not in this one. Most have just forgotten then eh?
No matter,
maybe next time.
Your poem was great but... It didn't quite make it's way up to my high standards.
Sorry.
BUT I ENJOYED READING.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
Edited on Nov 07, 6:24 because '.'. -
oooooooooooooooooook!!!!
Now I have to go do one of the most boring things in the world. Not that everyone’s poems in this contest are boring, but only about half of you followed the rules. I even sent messages to those with the “RULE problem” and they still haven’t changed it. I have both posted a message on their poem and on their site as well. OH well.
So yes, now I’m going to do the judging…right now…at… 6:42am!
LoL
All judging will be finished by November 10 at the very latest.
I will be sure to post a comment to every one saying whether you won or not.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
All though you don’t need it.
NEKO
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Fire is ominious. My neighbors lived through a fire that demolished their house. The day after the fire the whole street was covered with sut. I think that whole year we smelled the smoke. This is very vivd, and you espressed it as so in this poem. You have a srtiking way with words. Keep sharing.
Lynnette
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Very visual poem, I love the imagery, although it is sad. The emotion, the feeling of one living in these conditions is experessed very well. Good write! If this is the second time you see this, sorry! My computer is messed up...
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Studies show red light from the sun shining through the smoke affects people's moods dramatically.
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Reminds me of the fires here in BC, in Kelowna, where everything was pretty much destroyed, lives, memories, homes, not to mention trees, animals, skies...i think for a couple weeks straight the people here, went to bed with red skies, and woke up to black ones...
black clouds and fire in the skies, and 10 feet of soot and ashes at their feet...
Nyx...
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