In pools of treble clefs
I plucked puffer fish
and played bagpipes
across the echoes of a
silent moon
The sand reflected
songs of my turtled hum
and as I swayed on the surface
of a stretching tide
I discovered true lullabies
in the simplicity of a yawn
There I felt the breath
of orchestras
and whispered my appreciation
to a seashell's hollow,
crabs emerged
to harvest the salt
of my marveled eye
Gulls chattered
the cry of violins,
reverberating off
the ocean's sparkle
of a cresting bow
I watched as all things
became shades of deepest blue
Stars shone brightest
above foam's kiss,
shooting off in ecstasy
to tap out the tune
of midnight's
zealous xylophone
I built a castle out of clay
and my heartbeat was the drum
that played welcome to waves,
long returned from the corners
of weary minds
Collapsing upon kingdom's crystals
I begged the continuation
of Poseidon's symphony
and lost myself amongst
the overture of an encore
Author notes
My thoughts on the ocean
Pic Credit:
Midnight_by_angellynn03
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Beautifully written, the metaphoric expressions was immaculate!
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beautiful metaphor....well done
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absoluetly awesome.
this is really cool words of speech and it is a great subject to talk about... how much do you know about leviathans??
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Spectacular marine imagery. I enjoyed the poem very much. It was a picture of contentment. I especially liked the lines:
The sand reflected
songs of my turtled hum
and as I swayed on the surface
of a stretching tide
I discovered true lullabies
in the simplicity of a yawn
Great job.
Mike
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Very nice poem
Loved this piece, its' illusions and imagdry -
This is so beatufiul and I like how you were very creative with your metaphors, discrip. and thoughts!
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Nice metaphors and meter. I enjoyed reading this a great deal. You captured the message in wonderful words.
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I've always been captivated by the call of the ocean. Your metaphors truly give it a voice. Excellent work my friend.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Lovely!
Oh well done, well done! This poem is utterly stunning, the imagery running through it is absolutely breath-taking, and the accompanying pictures are perfect, they really set the mood. Once again, nice work!
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Beautiful! As an oceanic fanatic, I must say you displayed the beauty of the sea splendidly! Bravo and brava!
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my ocean calls to your callow youth
with blue pooled tears
a siren's song that hears
every saddened cry a voice does make
I gaze at you from beneath the gloom
yearn to touch the face that loves me dear
fears I am forever caught beneath the waves
to never know what your kiss will feel
against my cheek that longs to be
there beside you, forever the horizon waits
for me to reach you there...
C
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My dearest your write sings a melody to my soul as i feel and hear every one of the senses you portray. such imagery and mysticism and mystery shines within the beauty. lol you know deep down my fave stanza would be celestial night sky for it brings for the magic of the night and the luminations of the waters' reflections with peace. love it hun well done and many loving blessings always xxxx
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Great
Yes I liked the word imagery too. You put a lot of thought into this poem. Thanks for sharing you talent
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Fabulous
This was very creative and showed buckets full of imagery and your word usage was excellent.
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'across the echoes of a
silent moon' this is so beautiful!! 'Stars shone brightest
above foam's kiss,
shooting off in ecstasy
to tap out the tune
of midnight's
zealous xylophone' never have i heard such words used like this... the alliteration is obvious but not overdone. the last paragraph is nothing but breathtaking. overall this is such a beautiful piece. well done, truly. keep writing!!!
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this was probably one of the most well written poems I have read to date and i have been reading poetry since 7th grade, very well done and thank you for sharing your work with us
Lucian" -
Me likes this
thats all i have to say,
you are a really good writer
...Simply Me♥ -
Very nice feelings come from this. I enjoyed all the nature metaphors. You have a piece to be proud of here. Pen on...
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I begged Poseidon to contiue his symphony, while I lull in the oceans tides! Creative poem and goes so well with the pic. ~Sie
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I think this is carefully wrought out and provides a lot of vibrant imagery - would rethink "amongst" in the 2nd to last line.
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What a stunning piece!! You even made me fall a little in love with the ocean (and I hate the water!)... what a beautiful amount of movement and rhythm this write has...
Just stunning bro!
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good job
"i discovered true lullabies
in the simplicity of a yawn"
a real rendition of "reverse fallacy"
it may be false
but, in essence,
true
we rake a yawn as a ho_hum
sort of action
attributing no particular significance to it
an lowly, menial,expendable act
but
you made it a midnight serenade
reminds me of "blue moon"
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Deep
This is a deep poem. It inspired images beyond normalcy. It was a fantastic write about the ocean. It's almost mystical. I loved this. -
This was beautiful hun.. You did a wonderful job.. The emotion and imagery was great.. I was born by the ocean so it's my first love..lol.. And the fact that you mixed in a little Mythology in with this as well with Poseidon was great.. I love Mythology.. lol.. anyway you did great..
Angel
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I am sooooooo in love with you right now.......::sigh::
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lol hands off! I'll fight ya for him J/k
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LOL.....Bring it!!!
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hehehe, nah I know I don't have to..sigh....
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awwwwwwww, just when i thought this could get sexy
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Oh so you want a jelly wrestle huh?
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I bet Jcat would be up for it.
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Jelly wrestle
......HELL YA!!!! Can we do it nekked??? But I am afraid I don't fight dirty...cause I always insist on looking pretty 
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lol Aussies fight dirty
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Gotta love the ocean!!
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"In pools of treble clefs
I plucked puffer fish
and played bagpipes
across the echoes of a
silent moon">>>>>>>>>holy inventor of rock candy!! ah! This was fabulous!
"plucked">>>such a great work. Has some great auditory imagery attached.
"
Stars shone brightest
above foam's kiss,
shooting off in ecstasy
to tap out the tune
of midnight's
zealous xylophone">>>OH OH OH!!!!
how divine, and sensual. gotta love that
and the ending. Well, You get a standing ovation from me!!!
Your words flowed smooth as a sea gull gliding on the ocean breezes
~divinity = your poem
S. P. ~
thanks for sharing this with me
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Ah, was this poem you arduously worked on before mine?
Teehee, treble clefs and puffer fish...an unlikely combination, but it's awesome.
"songs of my turtled hum"
LMAO!! Love the word 'turtled'.
"in the simplicity of a yawn"
Yawns are NOT simple...sometimes..you wait half an hour for a yawn to come!! But I appreciate the sentiment..
"There I felt the breath
of orchestras"
Both you and Ptolema are really good with music-y words...
"above foam's kiss,"
Man, you can't write anything w/o using 'kiss' in it, can you? LoL
"of midnight's
zealous xylophone"
I would love to play midnight's zealous xylophone!!
That last stanza...KICK-ASS!!
Great reference with Poseidon..
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Indeed it was!
hehe, we all have words we love to use.
Thank you for the great comment and glad you enjoyed it! -
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Cannon had something to do with that, huh?
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My lips are sealed or otherwise occupied
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Ocean's made for the lullaby's
of sweet temptations song,
to swim within the sirens breath
and die beneath her in the waves
as she washes you in gentle thrum... C
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