many ravens
in my heart
tearing all my
love apart
they dip my love
into dark blood
until my mind
turns into mud
many ravens
in my brain
make my eyes
look blank again
they eat my thoughts
so I can't smile
and they turn my laughter
into bile
many ravens
in my soul
make my grief
an endless hole
they hide my feelings
in a cave
until my life
becomes a grave
Author notes
the ravens are a metaphor
A contest entry
- 3 MOS. Gold MEMBERSHIP-updated to 600 points! and feature, Prompt: APATHY- Give Dark Writing a Try... by ears2hearyou.
1300 points, ended July 10, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
In looking for your haiku for my class assignment I came across this...in fact I am enjoying many of your poems as I go along...This is the best non haiku I have read so far ...I love all of your haiku ...this feels such dispair..it could be written about my poor grandson who is going through a terrible time with his bipolar wife and what she is doing to his children...
-
I like this style of writing. It pulls the reader in until the very end.
Patty
-
wise metaphor for Apathy!
very well written...as apathy truly does stalk and
devour all the emotions and leftovers in us.
they hide my feelings
in a cave
until my life
becomes a grave
YOur poem had a lovely speaking voice in it too..we
could feel the despair in each line and word!
well done! way to write!
ears/Seattle
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