With a green pencil, I could draw myself a little boat
and let this breeze float me gently along the canal
I could draw an iguana sunning itself
on the shore as I see 'em sometimes.
Could wave to the green creature as
I drift by or invite him to ride along
(they're harmless, I'm nearly certain)
With a pencil, I could sketch these young trees
in their future finery but t'would be way better
To simply visit and spend lots of time with them
every day until then --- like with children
Maybe trees grow best that way;
with appreciation.and encouragement
With a green pencil, I might draw myself cool
swimming attire to jump right into the sparkling blue
Or I could just shed what I'm wearing here and
now, and splash around in my birthday suit
I don't see anyone nearby, do you?
But then I'd require a pencil that's blue,
and a notebook that's waterproof, too.
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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this is cute...and i agree you would need a blue pencil and water proof note book...hehe...but all in all this was good keep it up... dhk
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Thanks!
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well written my dear . very sweet
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Loved this piece. If drawing yourself someplace else were that easy lol. This fun to read. Loved the tree parts the best.
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this is very nice... i hope soon that i get to read all of your poems when i have more time to read..then write...but very very good read!
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Reptiles creep me out LOL but if you say they are harmless maybe I'll take one for a ride too. But really, this is wonderful filled with vivid and creative imagery. I really enjoyed the ending. It was so cute.
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Thank you very much
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I liked this very much. I the use of your words. And i loved the way you used the color green That is my favorite color. Good choice. Lol Nicely done *rose* -Mandi
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I loved the way you took me on a journey of imagination! Fantastic imagery here! I'm glad I got this chance to read this. Keep up the awesome writing! She-ra
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Thanks, She-ra!
Have a great weekend.
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I really liked the day dreaming feel this poem gave me. I was a little sad that it was so short and I think there are some great images that need to be taken to a another level. Keep it up!
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ahh, this is a fantastic poem filled with meaningful imagery and fantastic thoughts thanks for sharing and by all means write on!! really beautiful stuff
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Thanks Brit-Girl
I've received a surprising number of comments on this poem. How did you find out about it? -
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you're welcome I found it through the 'read' button underneath the 'casual featured poems' box. It is the first poem that comes up and I am so glad that I found it
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Very imaginative! What a peaceful world you created with words. Way thumbs up! Beautiful work!
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excellent beginning stanza! "And let this" felt a bit wordy, I'd rather say "the breeze floats me gently".. "as I seem 'em" I stumbled over when reading. "I could" - I always prefer active tense rather than possible-tense... but that could be integral to what you're trying to get across, I can't tell "do you?" I didn't feel engaged enough yet by the potential-images to be addressed. If it was real-tense this would fit better I think. Clever/cute ending :) Feels fun/funny, though somehow the first stanza felt serious/emotional to me. Green is an emotional color, and floating in a boat evokes fear of lack of control and adventure. beautiful work!
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I'm so pleased that you read my poem
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I love the innocence..the sense of childhood and possibilities that is conveyed through these lines..the way the reader is engaged with the question " I don't see anyone nearby, do you?"good stuff!:)
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It's funny how sometimes a poem that I 'really' work on is not very well received; and other times, a poem that I write quickly turns out to be more popular
Thanks for stopping by
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Excellent
A very nice, whimsical write. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
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Thank you very much
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This flows so wonderfully down the page like a gentle waterfall and I absolutely love your final 5 lines ... I think they are fantastic by themselves but they lock this poem up wonderfully :) ♥ Stay safe *hug* ~Manda :f
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Thank you so much, Manda
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Good work; lucid and enjoyable.
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Haha lovely! so true...unless the water had too much algae lol then it could be green. very good!
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Haha I love this!! And wouldn't you need skin color too? To draw yourself? Or are you already there?
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Good point!
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A delight---as we have come to expect from you!!!!
And an environmentally friendly piece, too!!!!
Aesthete
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YOUR WIT ALWAYS SHINES THROUGH,
I LOVE THIS CREATION.
HOW SIMPLE IT IS TO CREATE,
WONDERFUL GIFT WE HAVE BEEN GIVE.
AND YOU USE YOURS SO PERFECTLY
IN SO MANY WAYS
EQUISITE MY FRIEND
GOD BLESS...
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As I was leaving the house yesterday, I was looking for a pen to grab, when I found a green pencil...
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