Sighs contents litter
across ambit’s reassurance
where security trails ‘in’,
and the language
of a thousand-yard-stare
reveals natural rhythm
for meanings hidden.
A glass-eyed iris contracts
when clouds weave scripts
across vulgar clarity,
deafening the onslaught
of voided accords,
and what of furrowed brows
ploughed into fallow expression,
are they proof of a presence?
Author notes
Word Bank : Content, Language, Natural, Hidden, Glass, Script, Vulgar
A contest entry
- Abstract Imagery + WordBank by Polaja.
1750 points, ended July 14, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold part 6 by whispernthedark.
500 points, ended September 12, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique Requested
Comments
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This is amazing, wonderful write. I love that middle stanza. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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A glass-eyed iris contracts
when clouds weave scripts
across vulgar clarity,
deafening the onslaught
of voided accords,
---
that stanza has amazing imagery
i loved it.
good job on the silver and goodluck in the contest
-
You have some amazing imagery here
I love the middle stanza, very well written and beautifully expressed - the questioning ending is also very effective in drawing the reader in to your world
I enjoyed the read very much - thank you for the entry!
Keep writing
Polly

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A word bank - I love word banks... Wish I had seen this one, but I am glad you did.

'the language
of a thousand-yard-stare
reveals natural rhythm
for meanings hidden'
and I loved those lines best in this piece. So strong! But your ending stanza is remarkable.
Well done with these words. You have given them some depth I bet they never knew they had.
~Pamela






